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Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'
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May 20, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT
 Quote From: dee0123 Hi. I was/am in a similiar situation, but this b/f and I also dated a long time ago, when we were younger. The relationship ended because he couldn't commit in the 6 yrs..he didn't even want to talk about it, and I was young and I guess I wanted to give him time...He couldn't even invite me to meet his mom, in his homestate. On the last day together, he angrily said 'ok let's go out and buy a ring', then I knew it was over...I never heard another word...Well years went by, I married and he didn't...then, when I was free again I called him up to see how his life...Fell back in love, and the same thing happen...His mom now 94, and my b/f sees her every Thanksgiving, and he calls it a 'working vacation'. I'm a mom of a 21 yr. old, and I understand that 'one-on-one time', and I just ask my b/f if we could take a trip out there, I could stay in a hotel. But, I just wanted 1 Thanksgiving Day with his mom...I don't know if she'll have another...I said I want him to spend time alone with her, but couldn't I also see her that one day...He takes 1 wk. vacation there, and the other 1 wk.. he rest up at his home...I said, couldn't we take the 2 wks, (just that once) and he could spend lots of time helping his mom, and then he and I can spend a day here and there, and go visit his hometown...I've been with this guy a total of 9 yrs...I yr. of this, broke up, because I had to give him the 'either or', and I really didn't want to. I waited and look where that got me? just pain....that's why I got out of it after the 2 yrs. this time around...and for you, 3 yr. is long enough, especially if you want different things then him...my b/f also never married, which is a big sign...I told my b/f also to make 1 appt. to see a counselor, which he refuses...says they don't help...I think you have to do what you feel you have to do, to be happy...or you may end up like me...and trust me, you don't because the hurt just goes on and on...Perhaps, you and I can go in together for counseling..wouldn't hurt...but, if he refuses that, then you''ll know your understand..hope this helps, perhaps you could message me back and give me any advice too, so I'll know I did the right thing..thanks Are you guys together now or did you call it quits? You have certainly invested alot of time and emotions into your b/f. Did you/do you feel in your heart that it was time to end it? With my first marriage I knew in my heart and I felt it was time to end it. I just woke up one day and told myself this was my last day in an unhappy marriage. From that day on I never looked back, and felt good about it. In this situation I don't feel like I'm ready to give up yet...I can't (for the most part) complain about him...we have a great relationship...travel about 4 times a year...have a riot on a daily basis..share the same interests, we both work in law enforcement and understand what each other is going through and help each other deal with work situations. My sister says I shouldn't try to fix something thats not broken. Do you feel good about how your situation worked out or are you thinking things are not where you would like? I |
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