Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'

Brenda, for me personally, I did the same ...  I wrote out my history and found that I couldn't connect to the event really.  I mean, I had done the work previously over & over again, that I just couldn't understand why I had to do it again.  But somewhere I read where he said that if I get upset or angry, than I haven't bought closure to it.  And because I was in a really intensive nasty work situation, I was enmeshed from it.  So it was painful, not my childhood or early adulthood. 

What I loved about Self Matters was the last 7 chapters on Internal Dialogue.  I focused my energy on SEWING so that I could hear why I wasn't able to focus on it.  It allowed me to listen to my fears and then write out steps to help me work thru it.  Like taking a class on altering skirts & pants so that I could see if it could provide me with the missing knowledge.   Then I took a class on how to make a shirt, and then I made x-mas presents (a couple of flannel gowns & pj's for my great nephew & niece).   

As I gained the knowledge and learned to LISTEN and then ask the 3 questions (Is it True?), I was able to figure out if I needed to learn something - like goal work or a behavior -- or if I had already learned / educated myself and never connected the dots.  That was pretty funny actually.  I spent so many years reading, taking classes, talking with other people that I never actually was able to truly apply what I had learned until I discovered CONNECTING THE DOTS.   

Now, I'm able to easily hear the "tape" because the key for me is:  I just disconnect and forget about it.  Now, I know that when I'm doing goal work that I need about 20 minutes, my journal, and a separate notepad.  I write my goal down and then begin to break it down into separate steps or just begin writing about it.  If I discover that I've just faded out - then I start the process all over again but this time, I have the notepad ready to listen to what I'm saying.  Sometimes, it takes me a couple of attempts before I maintain my focus.  Then I can ask the questions. 

Marcia