Replies to 'General Advice'

Hi! I read what you said about your daughter not being herself, and I would be worried, too. Does she think Valerie is a bad thing to be? Does she do naughty things and blame it on her not being herself because she is someone else? Sometimes my daughters, 3yr old twins Allyssa and Brianna say that they are a horsie and when they physically hurt each other, it was the horsie not them. Brianna tends to bite, but she says horsies bite, which she knows is true because Allyssa got bit by a horse. I think she liked Allyssa getting bit and she sometimes wants to recreate it! I have a real conundrum with them because Allyssa likes 'princess' things, and Brianna really doesnt have a preference much, but when I see a cute shirt that says princess on it, I want to get it for Allyssa, but I dont want to not get anything for Brianna and make her feel like I'm making Allyssa the favorite. The problem is that Brianna probably wouldnt want a princess shirt, so I dont really want to get her something that her sister would want but she wouldnt. She says she is a superhero and only wants superhero clothes. The problem with that is that superhero stuff is usually boys stuff. I dont want to dress her like a boy! I think she just wants to be different from her sister and not be a twin. They dont look alike at all. Brianna is dark with brown hair and brown eyes, and Allyssa is super white with blonde hair and blue eyes. I wonder if Brianna feels bad because Allyssa and I both have blue eyes and she doesnt. I dont want to label them the good twin or bad twin or whatever twin. I'm not sure what to do. I know they're individuals, but I tend to be lazy and group them together. When I get them clothes, I have just gotten two of everything. I figured then one wouldnt feel left out if they always just both got the same thing. I also keep their clothes in the same dresser and they interchange all their clothes. Should I get each their own dresser and start getting them their own clothes? They'll be 4 this fall, and hopefully starting preschool. Where we live, we are very isolated and they rarely see other kids. Any ideas?