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Replies to '05/12 Toxic Relationships'
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May 12, 2006, 10:05 am PDT
 Quote From: chrissylil Hi, My opinion?Run away from this man and his family fast and far. That's what I should have done 12 years ago.My husbands x went above and beyond to make sure I never helped with school pick ups. They would miss religious instruction instead of relying on me for the transportation. Do u believe I have never me her? I got in over my head but I didn't know it at the time and truly believe I could make a positive contribution to my husband and his 2 boys. I was certain that my husband would see how "evil" ( and I don't use this term lightly) his x is and fight for custody of his children. Well. They are 14 and 16 now and they have no friends outside of school hours. The oldest has become a the husband of the house and they live in an isolated part of town where the only person that comes over to the house is their dad 3 day a week. These boys have been emotionally abused and there is nothing I can do. My husband kinda of sees what I see but he is so affraid to cause turmoil that he has done nothing of any weight to help - he seems paralyzed. I have him in therapy and the therapist understands the whole picture but he can only help so much. Had I known that my husband would never fight for his children's well being I would have never married him. He told me from our first encounter that his kid came first and I believed him and loved him for it but I know know he is probably as sick as his x and together they are raising their children to be the same. I truly mean it don't stay with this man you heart will continue to break. I have a son now so I feel I must work my marriage out and do what ever it takes but I am sooooo frustrated right now.Hope this helps you. Chrissylil I can relate to your situation. I had moved back to town after being away for three years. I ran into someone I had known for 20years.... we started dating, he was going through a divirce, he had2 children, he did warn me that his soon to be ex- is a piece of work....... we started dating, after 3 months i was introduced to his children. we all got along fine. his soon to be ex would call him all of the time drunk and wanting him to pick her up from the bars... witch he did, his reason being it would help in court. When my boyfriend had to work on his weekend that he had the kids, I would watch them. The little boy who was 4 at the time has a very mean and angry attitude. He no longer listens to me and he started throwing things at me and told me he was going to kill me, and explianed how he was going to do it. things started getting better. I moved in with Will. when he had his kids i tried to give them chores to earn allowances. this did not last for long. Will would do all of their chores because they had it bad at their mothers house and when he had them they should not have to clean up. So i quit cleaning, doing thier laundry, and going to all of their sports. they did not understand why i wouldnt go, so I exlpained to them that if they helped me clean up then i would do things that they wanted me to. Dad however did everything for them witch caused problems for Will and I. every day we would hear about his ex being drunk or half dressed or taking her tops off for free drinks. she got new boobs that gave her confidence. I finally had to move out because the house was getting in such bad shape i can not live in fiflth. I only go to Wills house when his chidren are not there. his ex is still calling him at night very drunk and the kids are now being abused by one of their mothers many boyfriends. Will answers the phone everytime his ex call because it may be about the kids, i understand all of that. but she does not need to call at 11:00pm when the kids are at Wills house. she is lonely and wants Will back. Last night i finally had to end our 1 year 10 month and 1 day relationship. It was very hard for me because I still love Will very much. I could no longer be in a relationship with the ex in our everyday life. Good luck to you, but you need to realize, things in your situation will not change, they will only get worse.
Teri |
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