Quote From: bluebird30My first time and I need help! I have been dating a man for 3 years. We are supposed to get maried at the end of July. But he has not told his daughter who is in college because he fears that it will upset her to the point of her not being able to finish. So basically he plans to give her a month notice. His mother and brother know about me . And he has been the dad in my kids life. He will not answer the phone or talk to me around her . She is spoiled but I do not think she will quit school because he has been divorced from her mother for about 10 years . Is this a valid excuse from him? I have told him that it makes me feel bad that after 3 years he will not tell his daughter . She is done with school , all she has to do is wait to get her diploma and go on a couple of class trips. Am I wasting my time thinking we really are going to get married? He has told me that she has asked him if he was seeing someone and of course he says no . He even hides my picture when they come to visit. I feel like the other woman. But would he really tell the rest of his family of his plans to marry me if he was not planning to follow through. Help. I have no family to ask these things so I am depending on the readers here for help. Thanks for reading.
Does the rest of the family keep the secret from the daughter too. Secrets are not good! I can't imagine what the daughter is going to do when she finds out that he is getting married and has been with you for 3 years but never told her. He's worried she will quit school? What a lame excuse. Are you sure you want to get involved with a family that keeps secrets? What will that teach your children? Do you think that will change?
I was married to a man with a family like that, we have been divorced for 19 years and his family still is like that they have not yet learned. I am thankful I am not immeshed with that anymore and that my daughter didn't grow up around that.
Life is too short to be unhappy or to keep secrets. The truth is the longer he waits the worse it will be when his daughter finds out the truth and she will. Maybe he doesn't intend to tell her because he doesn't intend to get married. Something to consider.
Good luck.
