Replies to '09/05 The Divorce Experiment'

it always amazes me how many other people are in, or were in, the same situation that i used to be in myself...I worked 60 hours a week outside the home, did extra work for my employer for an additional 20 hours a week so we could pay the mortgage while my ex-husband "searched for the perfect job".  I paid all the bills (minus the telephone), cooked the meals that were "not good enough", cleaned the house (and re-cleaned it with him standing over me because he didn't believe that i'd done a good enough job and wanted to see how badly i did), entertained his friends with dinner parties (to which he would criticize the food, even when i served king crab legs, filet mignon with bearnaise sauce, homemade caesar salad, and homemade cheesecake at times!), and ran after him when he forgot his keys and whatnot.  This, along with emotional/verbal/sexual abuse caused the end of our marriage- and when we were separated, he tried bringing me  his laundry to do- and was astonished when i said no!!!!  when i finally got the checkbook back from him, i found out that instead of studying for his degree (the reason he couldn't work, supposedly), he was spending the mortgage money on fortune tellers!  we had no children, so leaving was a little less burdensome, and i have since remarried a wonderful man.  our goal in life is to raise happy and healthy children, and to just LIVE life and enjoy every minute-he actually thanks me daily for doing the laundry or cooking meals.  there are wonderful people out there...hang onto your self worth, and if you can't fix the relationship that you're in, start over.   people are not slaves-not to do other people's work, not to be a punching bag, not to be a verbal catch-all.  good luck to all of you, and remember, you are a good person, no matter what you've been told!