Quote From: criddleI just read over what everyone has written, I wish you all the best. Your determination is inspiring.
I had a tough day today and havent eaten too much, have gained some weight lately, when I stepped on the scales the other day its like all the blood in my body fell to the floor and i just went cold and thought I was going to faint, but when I went to the doctor recently she said all my sickness is due to not eating properly, I cant live feeling this sick but I definalty cant live fat! I always think I'm gettting better until I hit a wall when I reach a certain weight and it seems everything goes wrong all at once.
I feel like if I see a counsellor now they'll think your a fat fake but I cant deal with this on my own, what a whinger, I wish I could just get it together, I always give other people good advice but when it comes to myself its all so hard.
You arent a whiner. This is something good to whine about because you need help. I currently see a counselor and have for 2 years. The hardest part in the beginning for me was to keep reminding myself that they are not judging me at all. They are listening. That is was they are there for so they can get to the bottom of whatever is going. I cant tell you how far I have come with counseling. You really get close to them and it is really nice to talk to them. It is really hard to tell you deepest thuoghts, but that gets easier as time goes on.
It was also very hard for me to be on medication at one point because I wanted to do it on my own. But I have learned that when it comes to this kind of stuff, especially eating disorders, you have to realize that you do need some help and that you cant do it all on your own. It can get worse and become a matter of life and death.You should really look into it! It is a big step, but I know you can do it! I will be praying that you do and that God leads you to someone that you feel you can talk to! He is there for you and so am I.
