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Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'
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May 17, 2006, 6:32 am PDT
 Quote From: ashley91 I love my boyfriend (42) of two years sooooo much. I'm 33. He has a couple of playboy tapes and strip poker tapes and he has the movie showgirls, which he bought while dating me 6 months into our relationship. now he knows how i'm bothered by this stuff and he's deleted some emails his friends have sent him that bothered me and he agreed it was disrepsecful of them to send him girlie pics, and he's always sensitive and willing to do whatever it takes to please me. i only know of his playboy tapes because i snooped. it makes me nervous that he has them, even if he doesn't look at them anymore. i'm satisfied with him so i don't look at other men and i think it should be vice versa. should i one day live or marry this man? i'm EXTREMELY sensitive to this girlie stuff. it might have to do with my upbringing, but i'm very uncomfortable and it's always in the back of my mind when I'm with him. sometimes i even lose sleep over it. I can't even believe that someone else feels the same way as I do about porn. It makes me so sick to even think that my boyfriend of almost 5 and a half years looks at that stuff. Recently I found about 6-7 DVDs of hard core porn in the trunk of his car and I confronted him. He acted so normal about it and that he didn't care that I was VERY upset about it. I broke them up and destroyed them in front of them and his only response was that he didn't care that I was doing it. He then proceeded to lie to me and tell me that they were old and that he had had them from before we were together. However, on three of them the listed the copyright date and they were dated from 2003-on (we have been together since Dec 2000).
I told him how digusting I thought these were and how perverted he was for watching these. All he said was that he didn't feel that way. This has been an ongoing problem with us since we first started dating because he would always deny anything found on the computer saying that his friends were looking at it. After this last episode, he said that he wouldn't watch them anymore because he knows how much it really bothers me. But I work overnights and leave for work at 9:30 PM so he has hours all to himself... while I am at work, I am soooooo afraid that he is on the computer or has other hidden porn that I do not know about.
In my head, I know that this has nothing to do with me. That he is just sick and perverted and I am just fine being me. But I can't help but feel not worthy or that I am not enough for him. Our sex life is practically none existence. We are 24 years old and we probably have sex 2 or 3 times a month. I have tried to initiate sex constantly and he constantly turns me down.
I too wonder if he is someone worth marrying and if I should wait for him to be ready to get married. I guess it doesn't matter how old they are, 24 or 42, some problems don't have an age limit. We just moved in together and that is the only reason that I even had a chance to stumble upon what I found in his car. As soon as I opened the trunk they were in a case right on top. He tried to tell me that he hasn't watch them in a long time and that he was going to get rid of them. But I know better. What is it with men and lying to you when the evidence is right in front of you? |
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