Replies to 'Debt'

Now that I finally tackled that tape/script that surfaced last year that kept making me revert to old behaviors - I can now take a nice deep breath!  It was a fear script I wrote as a child (I even have memories of it) and when I began to learn how to listen to what I was saying to myself, I kept having it raise it's ugly head.  I have finally broken out of my old negative life style at long last. 

And you are right that I need time off.  I have to pick up the pieces from this month's NAMING (that's what I call it when I name a script/tape so that I can face it and then challenge it).  I screwed myself up financially but I will be okay there.  I have a special journal that I write in just for my finances.  I write down what I've done wrong - what my thoughts are - my computations for chosing how I was going to pay off my debt, etc.   Like Dr. Phil says, we have patterns and believe it or not, this FEAR was and is something I experienced every summer.  I really think it started when I was 8 years old and that over the year, I added more emotions/feelings to it.  Until 1 day, it became like words I was telling myself but was really an emotional/feeling script/tape.  Yep, it sounds crazy but I'm very right brained and think in pictures.  In fact, I've been doing nightly visualizations to help me understand what I'm feeling and to help me erase this old no longer needed script in my life. 

My financial goal now is to clean up my FICO score - it went to hell when I took the early retirement and figure out my checkbook register once again.  I lost the balance again --nothing new there - but at least I have a plan and on Sunday/Monday, I will once again spend the days working on figuring out where I am (ONCE AGAIN) and putting me back on track.   At least now, I'm not going to experience that emotion/feeling as strong as I did this time. It was the last time cause I had a plan and now, it's in motion and it's already beginning to work. 

Take care Rog and thanks for the advice.