Quote From: addled_momI am in need of some advice. Another boy's mom and I found out today that our 12 year old son's have experimented with kissing and oral sex with each other! They have visited porn sites together and have discussed different sexual acts that they might want to try with each other. I am shocked and don't know what to do.
I had a long talk with him this afternoon. He says he doesn't know why he did it and promised not to do it ever again. He says he didn't enjoy it, but that he lied to the other boy saying that he did (in an email which I have). I asked if he liked other boys and he said he wasn't 'gay', but that 'no girl would agree to try those things with him'! Should I trust him? Should I punish him? What should the punishment be? Should I take him to a psychologist? Or is he just experimenting what other kids his age begin to experiment with?
He's very embaressed. I've taken away his computer privileges, except that he needs to use the computer for school. We talked about AIDS and HIV. We talked about adult acts...but I really don't know if I should punish him or let it go. Do I watch everything he does, not let him be with other kids his age, or will that make it worse?
Please give me some advice...someone.
Thanks.
I'm only 17 but, I can tell you from experience that when I was ten I did get those kind of thoughts but I was to afraid to act on them.
It simply comes down to curiosity and I think you should be accepting of who he is but it’s too young for him to be experimenting.
"He says he didn't enjoy it", “he said he wasn't 'gay' "
Ok that is obvious at least for me, fear, he's afraid of your acceptance or at least the punishment that may arise meaning he sees what he’s done as bad.
Communication is the basis and letting him feel that he can say anything is a good thing, I don't mean simply telling him that fact but showing it by trying to understand and being accepting not
Going off at him. Some thing that may help when he gets into the teens :)
This may really help because if there is a communication there, if he is gay he will tell you when the time is right.
Right now, well as much as you can do is explain to him about it all in a accepting way (but as I’m no parent I don't know how much you should divulge to a 12 year old about sex) also a bit off knowing what he's doing is good because you don't really want him to repeat such things not at this age when he might not grasp the concepts fully to make a valid judgement.
He may not actually be gay at all this could be is just a one off curiosity thing that may wear off, but if it isn't accept it and really gay people don't actually choice there orientation it just happens.
