Replies to '08/23 My Fiancé is a Stalker'

I totally agree we all need to get involved. I was in an abusive relationship, and I got out. But I understand what is going on. I am older and wiser now. I have developed the self esteem, the self confidence, the self love needed to cope with being alone and raising my children free from seeing their mother abused and learning to grow up and either become abusers themselves or to become the victims of abusers. I am also the aunt of a young seventeen year old girl serving a life sentence for killing her abuser after growing up watching her mother beaten and raped on a regular weekly basis. She was taught to never go to the police that doing so would be "snitching" on her own family, that she was to keep the family "secrets" or she would not be accepted by the family any longer.  

This is a huge issue. There are many facets to it. You are right it is not simple. However, we have children who live with choices parents with low self esteem are making and they are the most innocent victims here. We need to step up and voice our concerns any time we see abuse of any nature. The time for "Minding our own business" is over! We HAVE to speak up and get the courts to force parents who would otherwise not obtain the help they need, get that help. We need better qualified therapists and more of them. We sadly have many who just do not know what they are doing and the damage they do is great. There are many who tell these women they need to stay in the relationship while the husband gets "help". I say they need to leave while the husband is getting that help and get help for themselves as well. As long as women continue to have low self esteem they will continue to allow themselves to be abused. Yes, that is right. allow themselves to be abused. When they stand up and say they will no longer be abused and take the action to follow up and stop that abuse, then we will begin to see this stop.  

However, society also needs to understand we have a shortage of womens shelters in this country. Here in AZ thousands of women each year get turned away from doors which are completely full. We need to get the government to allow more beds per shelter. I would have gladly slept on the floor with my children when I was told there was not any room for me and my children! I would gladly have done that in order to get away from my abuser. We need to get the funds to help provide the beds in more shelters in order for women to have somewhere to go. when we have thirty million working families who are only a sickness away from losing it all, how the heck are abused women suppose to provide for their children when they leave the abuse?  

As a society we need to provide for our woman and children better than we are right now. When every abused woman knows they have somewhere to go, a place which will assist them, then we will begin to see the numbers of abused woman and the children who are the most innocent and voiceless victims slow down and eventually stop this all together. Thanks for reading this.