Replies to 'Self Image'

My self image involves my husband.  I'm self employed and do the best I can at keeping all the bills paid, even while going through cancer treatments.  I think my husband is only here because I support him.  He says he loves me but does NOTHING to help support the household.  He keeps the yard work done, does little fix-up jobs on the house but that's all.  We don't sleep together, he refuses to go anywhere with me and generally treats people poorly.  He is really cute with me at times and after 16 years of marriage and since my cancer diagnosis he's finally remembering my birthday and our anniversary.  Still......  he won't help financially and won't change anything he's doing.  At one time he threatened to take my house if I tried to divorce him.  His name is not on the title, I bought the house with my late husband but since I've supported him for 16 years, I'm told there is precedent for that to happen.    

Since my cancer was diagnosed, I've gone through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.  The surgery took one breast, the chemotherapy took my waist length hair and the radiation took my energy.  I still do the best I can, which isn't too bad, but the future is uncertain.  Since hubby won't work, I fear for if and when the cancer returns and I'm unable to continue working.  I am on Medicad, Social Security Income won't even  pay my house payment and I feel as though I'm held hostage to a man that's only here because I support him.  What is wrong with me that I have to pay to keep him here?  I'm told I'm still attractive, a little weight gain from the treatments but still within normal limits, I try to look and do my best but I can't shake the feeling that I have to buy his friendship.  This has never really been a marriage, I guess, but I'm told I'm loyal to a fault.  Needless to say my self-image is as low as dirt....