Quote From: lucky24I totally agree with you Amber.
Cheating is not acceptable at all, like you said, but when it happens it is usually a symptom of a much bigger problem that the cheater needs to get to the bottom of. Too many spouses kick their mates to curb before at least trying to make some sense of why this happened to them.
Of course, if the cheater won't even admit there is a problem and wants to just keep doing what they've been doing, then there really is no way to save the relationship, in my opinion. But, when the cheater expresses remorse and is really willing to do the work to figure out why they have made the choices they have, then a marriage or relationship can definately be saved. It takes a lot of work on the part of both people in the relationship but hey, anything worth having is worth working for, right?
You are correct when you say spouses should try to work out their problems -- but these two aren't spouses. Just because they're engaged doesn't mean they are bound to put forth a Herculean effort to rehabilitate the relationship.
The whole purpose of the engagement period is to find out if the two people have a marriage-worthy relationship. Nicole found out that her fiance is not worthy of her trust, and she called off the wedding, as well she should have. She made the right decision. He is the one who's not man enough to claim responsibility for the risk he chose to take by making lame excuses like: "It wasn't my fault it was my hormones" or "it wasn't my fault, it was the alcohol". If he was going to come clean about his pattern of conduct he should be honest and say "I didn't think Nicole would ever find out" or "I was looking for a thrill and thought I could get away with it."
Like Dr. Phil told them on the show -- cheating is not like a car accident. It doesn't just "happen" to someone. A conscious decision to cheat was made -- people have a chance to consider the risk that is being taken and Nicole's fiance chose to take the risk. He knew what was at stake and yet he chose to cheat -- and NOT just once. Now it's time: 1) for him to pay the price, and 2) for Nicole to move on and hopefully meet a great guy who IS worthy of her trust.
