Quote From: venusenvyI met a wonderful intelligent, humorous, older man when I was 17. Unfortunately, and I have to say that because of the last few years, I fell in love with him. As soon as we were married, he became impotent. I was only 20 and I had no idea what to do in this situation. Now I am 25 and have tried desparately to save my marriage. We began counseling, I pressured him into seeing a doctor, and have even tried to be more intimate with him. I feel like I am at my breaking point. There is a small part of me that stays hopeful that our relationship will return to what it once was, and because of that, I keep hanging around. I could stay in a sexless marriage, but there is zero imtimacy amd my own esteem has suffered because of the past five years. I feel like I am going to be trapped in this circle forever: wanting to leave because he doesn't even try, yet staying because i remember how we used to love each other. Or maybe I'm just a coward. I am really sad and confused right now. I welcome any advice anyone would like to share, but more importantly, I need to know I am not alone right now.
There is BIG difference between intimacy and sex... this is ESPECIALLY true for women.
So your hubby went to the doctor who found nothing medically wrong? And he's tried the various meds available for ED? And it hasn't helped.
Once you've ruled out the medical the next thing is to rule out the mental. SO that would be the next logical step.
Regarding intimacy -- the feeling of closeness and connectedness to those we love most -- You are saying he doesn't even try. Is that right?
If you find that you have a partner who is unwilling/incapable of being the partner you need, then the bottom line is, I'm afraid, that you have NO marriage.
If are consistently staying in the relationship because of how you knew it was and how you WISH it would be, you are really short changing yourself.
Since you asked for advice, I suggest you get some counseling ALONE to discover what it is that YOU really want out of your life and how you can go about making that happen.
When you boil it all down, YOUR life is what YOU make of it.
Q
