Replies to '*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2'

I am so sorry that you have to be put through this. Your step son is out of control, there are always people to save him, and if he does not get help, it will be too late. It is a filthy disease, sometimes inherited, the traits anyway, and the victims are so very sick. I feel it is one step from death. You are in such a difficult position, having to make a choice between your partner and his son. That is a terrible place to be. Sometimes a father cannot chose to lose his son, it is not because he does not love you, do not think that. There is just no way to chose to lose a son, although the son is lost already. As alcoholics, we choose the path of death and destruction, or the path of life. When we are in that depth of hell, we do not know the choice and are not able to make it on our own. I had to hit the bottom, and boy do I mean bottom. Your step son has not hit the bottom because he is always given a place to fall. Some day there will be no place to fall. Bottom is the END. The only way is UP ^^. LInda.

Your husband is an enabler---I've watched my mom do this with my brother who is now 43--he's been involved in drugs and alcohol since he was 13.  I finally took a "get tough" stance and have refused to bail him out, take his phone calls, and even had to get a restraining order after he roughed me up while I was visiting my mother (who, by the way, got amnesia when it came time to tell the state attorney what happened).  I followed through and he's now on probation--but that hasn't stopped his lying and playing on my mother's sympathies.  When I ask her why, she says because he's her son.  She did the same with her brother for 30 years.  She's always saying "he's not heavy, he's your brother."  My reply---He's heavy and I can't carry him.  Hang in there---and hang tough.  I'm tired of having my life ruled by alcohol (and drug) abusers and have taken a hard, no nonsense stand with my spouse, my brother, and others.  I may not get invited to many "partise", but I also won't wind up in jail.  Good luck!