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May 22, 2006, 6:37 pm PDT
Save yourself!
Quote From: linderkI am so sorry that you have to be put through this. Your step son is out of control, there are always people to save him, and if he does not get help, it will be too late. It is a filthy disease, sometimes inherited, the traits anyway, and the victims are so very sick. I feel it is one step from death. You are in such a difficult position, having to make a choice between your partner and his son. That is a terrible place to be. Sometimes a father cannot chose to lose his son, it is not because he does not love you, do not think that. There is just no way to chose to lose a son, although the son is lost already. As alcoholics, we choose the path of death and destruction, or the path of life. When we are in that depth of hell, we do not know the choice and are not able to make it on our own. I had to hit the bottom, and boy do I mean bottom. Your step son has not hit the bottom because he is always given a place to fall. Some day there will be no place to fall. Bottom is the END. The only way is UP . LInda. I can relate to this as my own husband could not - would not own up to his son's destructive behaviors. First of all you need to know that his attitudes is not about his son - its all about him. My husband could not for the longest time could not see how he was actually encouraging our son's addiction (example: a few short weeks ater rehab he purchased his 17 year old son a bottle of volka). My husband would blame me for our son's out of control behavior.My son would try and kill me and my husband would say things like I egged him on. I'm surprised I am still married. Our youngest son(who was a small baby when his 15 year old brother was going bizerk) after wittnessing years of his older brother's nuttiness and voilence suffered Post tramatic Stress Disorder. We thought for a long while he was autistic but is slowly recovering - Thank God. I can't tell you how many years of craziness the whole family went through because my husband wouldn't respond or let anyone else respond to our son's voilence and abuse. Our son moved back into the house(we thought he had been sober two years at the time) just about a month before he overdosed on herion in our bathroom. The family was going to sit down to dinner and started without him. I found him in the bathroom after what seemed a long time. He died April 28th of last year and I'm not glad he's dead but for the first time in years we have peace real peace again in our home. My marriage is better and my relationship with my other two sons is much much better. My advice is to save yourself. An addict is like a drowning man - they will pull down everyone around them. My son is probably dead because he was so smart and goodlooking - the world couldn't believe what was so evident. He might be alive today if we all would have made him accountable.
Ada.
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