Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

Dear thetikihut:  I'll be honest with you but realize it won't be easy to hear.  If you want stop reading now. 

  You never get over this type of assult.  It changed you at the most  fundamental primal level.  The good news is that YOU CAN learn to live WITH it.  It will not haunt you forever unless you allow it to.  Right now you have profound reason to protect you child from you brother, DO SO without remorse.  He is to be feared only with a child.  You as an adult can protect your child and are doing precisely that. 

  I'm so sorry your mother didn't protect you when she should have.  There is no excuse for her behavior only a truth I learned with my own.  I too confided the secret in my mother, only it was my father abusing me, and she crumbled before my eyes as if vacating her own heart and steeling herself against an overwhelming tsunami of emotion she couldn't deal with.  She had no skills for what faced her and I suffered well into my early 40's for it until one day I realized with the aid of a good friend a simple fact of life.  "We all do the very best we can with what we have inside of us to use in moments like this that try us.  This is when our metal is revealed."  Suddenly I saw my mother as a real person and I was able to let go, after a few seriously hard months of grief work, of wanting her to be what she didn't have in her to be.   She was easier to deal with from then on, though I still had to remind her of the truth and I would never again be silent about it or keep it secret. 

  I have faith you too will find your own way thru this.  That is the real key to living with it, you find what works for you and then do it; finally one day you will look back and realize you did it.  I will hold the faith for you that you will find your own path to this place until the day you get there.  A stranger did this for me and it helped me believe there was an end to the misery.  There is and now I'm passing this on when I can.  I hope you will do the same one day for someone else. 

  I'm very proud of you for being the mother you didn't have; you deserve a lot of credit for that!  Please let your self feel it.  Your metal has been revealed and you have gold in your soul!  I see it. 

  This eventful aspect of your life will bother you but it will also settle and find its place just as all things do.  The time it takes to get there deserves to be taken with reverence and all the powerful emotion you hold within.  In time you will feel it so completely there won't be anything left of it.  That's the silver linning about feeling something, when you feel it all it transforms and finds its place.  Then you live with peace again.  You can believe this.  I have lived it! 

  Keep a copy of this when you feel weary.  I care.  God bless: Amazonsole