Quote From: lruiz1999I found out on Valentine's Day that my husband of 12 years was having an affair. According to the other woman, he had been calling her and e-mailing her for almost 7 years. I feel like most of my marriage was a sham, like I am married to a stranger, and like I don't know what to expect from him next. Two weeks after I found out he was cheating, he received an e-mail from his old high school girlfriend. He gaver her his cell number and was telling her when it was a good time to call him, which she was doing. She lives out of state, but so did the other girl. He says they were just talking and catching up and he didn't tell me because it wasn't the "right time" and he knew I'd be mad. He's right, I was mad. Mad that he didn't tell me if it was so "innocent", mad that he bares his soul to other women and not his wife, mad that he puts what he wants before everyone else, mad that he's so secretive and mad that he put me through this! What am I supposed to be? Trusting? Supportive? Forgiving? Of course, he wants to work it out and doesn't want to lose his family. He even told the old high school girlfriend that he made a mistake he was trying to correct. Again, not honest. His trying to correct is not going to the marriage counselor for 2 months so we don't have to rehash it, not talking about it, getting angry if I do talk about it, bullying me into staying quiet, and generally acting as if it didn't happen. If I knew before I married him what I know now, you can bet I'd have dropped him like a hot cake.
Yup, sounds all to familiar with me. Mine cheated to, several times during our 15 years of marriage, right under my nose. I felt just like you, mad, wanting to go to counseling, wanting to talk about it. He slamed the door in my face about it and wanted to push it under the rug. You are right to drop him like a hot cake. There is nothing innocent about a man cheating on his wife. I learned that it was he that had the self esteem problems, that he was just using me because he wanted his cake and eat it too. I asked him why he did this to me and our children, and the best answer he could come up with was that "it was a challenge". What a poor answer. I could have handled, I fell out of love with you better than for a challenge. He is now remarried to the last woman he cheated on me with. I tried to tell her that he will do the same to her. She didn't listen. I am remarried now several years later to a wonderful man. Life is good.
