Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

"You never get over this type of assult.  It changed you at the most  fundamental primal level. " Right! It depends on how much you want to progress from your past abuse to become a whole person. Each of us knows we have "issues" and/or experiences that affect us as adults, but few of us know why, and only with professional help may we truly begin to know ourselves--that was taken from us as children by perpetrators who totally interrupted our growth and total health, including physical well-being.  

That scared little girl you can help right now, indeed. If you meditate, do that, and if you don't get a guided mediatation tape/cassette/CD at the library and learn how. An exercise someone put me through before I knew most of what my childhood was like, actually over a long-term question about being sexually abused by my father but I didn't want to say anything to anyone...even at the age of 46, with five grown children, for fear I'd be falsly accusing him of something--not realizing, he had plenty to be blamed for, anyway.   

I was told to deeply relax, and then find a place in my childhood home when this may have begun where I felt the safest. I searched and searched, every nook and crannie, even the coal bin, and a hidden shelf in my closet, but I couldn't find one place I felt safe. So, I was told to go to a place I felt safe...and I "visualized" myself walking out the back door, and over to our sandbox, and I climbed into it, and sat with my sundress pulled down over my knees. Then, I pulled up my dress a little bit, and could see freckles on one of my thighs. I was then told, "Ask her what happened to her," and I did, but she just lowered her head and wouldn't respond. So, I was told to tell her I was grown up now and I could take care of her. I did that, and decided to just take her with me, and leave that place, so I reached out my hand for her, and we walked out the back gate to my car parked along the fence. I put her into my car, and even put a seat belt on 'her,' and went and got in and began to drive away with 'her.' When I looked back at my sandbox, she was looking back at it, too.   

From that point on, when I have felt regressive (child-like), frightened, for any reason or no apparent reason, I have always been able to tell myself, "I am grown up now and I can take care of you."   

I hope this helps you, too. But, please don't try to go through your life with this fragmentation of your being without professional care. Sometimes the flash backs and nightmares may become too much and require some medication, but a good therapist/doctor will always titrate it, check to see how its affecting you, and back off of one, a bit, and maybe even start another one, etc. until you can be stablized during your days and have good night's sleep.   

Try to make your next step only that which will bring you the greatest potential for health and recovery--a new view on your life and your feelings.  

Be well...buena salud.