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Replies to '*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2'
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May 24, 2006, 12:02 pm PDT
 Quote From: lmconner I've not been married to my alcoholic near as long, but I certainly know your feelings very well. In the 6 yrs we've been together he's been in rehab 3 times, in jail (for short periods) 2 times, been arrested twice once with his 3rd DUI, we've had unbelieveable financial problems due to his drinking & the consequences thereof, he's generally made life very difficult. Like your husband, he says AA is "not for him" & he doesn't get anything out of sitting around listening to others' problems, etc. All that to say I too still am praying, knowing that God is listening & is more than able to work a miracle in our lives. Nothing, no disease, no "difficult" person, nothing is too big for God to handle....but...almost always, it's too big for us to handle...I just don't know how anyone gets through a single day with Him. I, too, am looking forward to seeing Dr. Phil's special intervention tomorrow night (I just wish it was with my husband!) He does truly want to quit but his resolve is usually very short lived when the "craving" hits. He's a binge drinker & is very ugly (for lack of a better word) when he drinks. He's only 38 & is having lots of physical problems that he dismisses that I know are a direct result of his drinking. I will pray for you (& all the others of us) who are suffering this terrible disease's effects. Keep the faith.... I hope you have a good friend you can talk to -- I'm thankful that I do. And I'm also very lucky my grown children are so supportive. I know you (as I do) get tired of the "I really want to be sober" speech -- and my husband, like yours, is an absolute jerk when he's drunk (thankfully never physically abusive because that would be a deal breaker). I'm encouraged that he actually asked me to tape the Dr. Phil special. (We watch Dr. Phil together almost every night he's sober---and when he's not sober I tape it and we watch it later.)
Please tell your husband that if he's having all of these problems at 38, wait until he gets to be 56. If my husband hadn't stayed sober from age 40-53, I wouldn't be here. I think my husband got worse when he hit his mid-50s. He felt like he was "old enough" to control his drinking (the old once an alcoholic always an alcoholic didn't impress him). Understand his father is an alcoholic, my father is an alcoholic, his brother is an alcoholic, my brother is an alcoholic, and so are other more remote family members. He doesn't want me to use the term "alcoholic" in describing him.....HA. A flower is still a flower regardless how you dress it up!
My mother always said, "Let go, Let God." But it's so, so hard to "let go" when you love this person. But I don't want my marriage to fail--my biggest fear is my mom divorced my father after 36 years of marriage due to his alcoholism--and I don't want that to happen to me.
Hang in there----- |
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