Replies to 'Troubled Teens'

My husband and I met a year and 1/2 ago. At that time his daughter was 10.  My husband was getting out of a really bad marriage with a woman with Bi Polar disorder. With that woman being so violent, he thought about sending his daughter to live with her mother. Her mother drank and was an alcoholic when they were married.. but had seem to clean up her act. The deal was that she go and live with her for the school year and then the situation would be "reevaluated" and things would go from there. His daughter had never lived with her mom, but reaching preteen , he thought it would be a good idea and so that she would be away from the hostile situation. Fast forward.......... she has lived there a year.. we dated and married, and have a very stable marriage and love her very much. She and I have the relationship that every step mother dreams of. about 5 months ago ( Super Bowl Sunday)... his daughter called us crying. Saying her mom wouldn't go to bed even though she was tired.. my husband got on the phone and talked to her mom... she was very very very drunk. We decided to tell his daughter that she was in fact ... drunk. She started crying.. I asked her why she was crying, and she said... she is like this almost every night. Well, that is all we needed to call the lawyer. The lawyer said, IL law says that a custody ruling cannot be overturned for 2 years unless there is cause for it. Basically, she has to hurt her daughter. She gets drunk and drinks about a bottle of vodka a night. She is passed out by 7:30p and doesn't have a job.  My daughter calls me every night crying saying she wants to come home. I have sat her down and explained what it is to drink, the reasons why, and how it is an addiction.  Her mom is jealous of my relationship with her, and denies her daughter the feeling of love. 3 mights ago, her mom was drunk again, and we called the police ( we live 1 1/2 hours away). The police arrived, and found her passed out... and her daughter crying. They tried to wake her up and did but only for a few minutes. The police asked her if she was scared of her mom. She said no... and that she had never been physical with her. She affirmed that her mom drives drunk with her in the car. When she comes here for the weekends... she hides when it is about 20 min before her mom picks her up. One time, we looked for 15 min.. she was under the bathroom sink in the cabinet. I layed in the floor and talked to her and asked her why she felt like she needed to hide. She told me that if her mom cant find her that she will just go home.   

I am so angry, so sad, but most importantly, out of answers. I don't know what else to tell her when she calls crying. The police wont make a report because there isn't any abuse going on. This is damaging her school work... and she was a straight A kid. I love her so much, like my very own, but I don't know what to say to her anymore. I cry with her, I worry that her mom will drink and drive and kill her. I need to know if anyone else has been here........ what did you do?