Replies to '03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3'

I have tried to post this before and it doesn't come through.  Anyhow, your mindset is what really bothers me.  I wil clarify.  You feel, whether you exactly say it or not, that women who use daycare really don't need to- that we are in essence living a lifestyle that we put above our kids.  You mentioned all that you give up to be home...well, guess what I know several two income families who don't have those things either.  I have explained in detail my life and finances- in no way are we living the "high" life but yes, my kids have things I feel are important.  We are also wise savers and spenders as we have no credit card debt and no car payments.  We also have life insurance but if I didn't work that would be a "luxury" we couldn't afford.  Personally, the things you claim you give up really don't sound all that serious- especially if you are out shopping for picture frames and have enough savings to live on if need be.   To me, it sounds like you create your own unhappiness.  Let me explain.  You don't have a driver's license?  WHY?   What if you had to take your daughter to ER?  Also, you moved into an area with totally opposite beliefs than yours...why?  Maybe, if you worked, you and hubby could have moved/stayed where you have something in common with your neighbors.  Now, you are isolated to a point and don't sound happy about it.  I am NOT bitter.  I'm not sure where you get that.  I just get tired of hearing "I'm a Mommy on weekends/evenings" and "I'm not the same level of parent as a SAHM" and I don't sacrifice enough to be home with my kids.  If I hadn't worked all this time, we'd be in a  lesser neighborhood with a lot more crime and bad schools.  My hubby grew up like that and there is no benefit in that.  I agree, some can live a good life and stay home in other parts of the country,  Julie, for example, has a charmed life.  Good for her...except for me I'd rather have my husband home.  I don't think in any way shape or form my kids have missed out on Mommy being home.   I have missed things (not their milestones but others) but that's loss for me NOT THEM!  They are doing just fine.  I could brag up and down about them but I don't need to.  Yes, I am very grateful for my nice job.  It puts food on the table.  I am grateful I have spectacular kids.  I am grateful for a LOT in my life.  The things you said, indirectly/directly, were very offensive and then  to pull back, say sorry and expect I'll "play nice"- I don't think so.  To attack someone on their parenting style (which you did) is probably one of the meanest things you could do-good example for daughter!   

I have tried to post this before and it doesn't come through.  Anyhow, your mindset is what really bothers me.  I wil clarify.  You feel, whether you exactly say it or not, that women who use daycare really don't need to- that we are in essence living a lifestyle that we put above our kids.  You mentioned all that you give up to be home...well, guess what I know several two income families who don't have those things either.  I have explained in detail my life and finances- in no way are we living the "high" life but yes, my kids have things I feel are important.  We are also wise savers and spenders as we have no credit card debt and no car payments.  We also have life insurance but if I didn't work that would be a "luxury" we couldn't afford.  Personally, the things you claim you give up really don't sound all that serious- especially if you are out shopping for picture frames and have enough savings to live on if need be.   To me, it sounds like you create your own unhappiness.  Let me explain.  You don't have a driver's license?  WHY?   What if you had to take your daughter to ER?  Also, you moved into an area with totally opposite beliefs than yours...why?  Maybe, if you worked, you and hubby could have moved/stayed where you have something in common with your neighbors.  Now, you are isolated to a point and don't sound happy about it.  I am NOT bitter.  I'm not sure where you get that.  I just get tired of hearing "I'm a Mommy on weekends/evenings" and "I'm not the same level of parent as a SAHM" and I don't sacrifice enough to be home with my kids.  If I hadn't worked all this time, we'd be in a  lesser neighborhood with a lot more crime and bad schools.  My hubby grew up like that and there is no benefit in that.  I agree, some can live a good life and stay home in other parts of the country,  Julie, for example, has a charmed life.  Good for her...except for me I'd rather have my husband home.  I don't think in any way shape or form my kids have missed out on Mommy being home.   I have missed things (not their milestones but others) but that's loss for me NOT THEM!  They are doing just fine.  I could brag up and down about them but I don't need to.  Yes, I am very grateful for my nice job.  It puts food on the table.  I am grateful I have spectacular kids.  I am grateful for a LOT in my life.  The things you said, indirectly/directly, were very offensive and then  to pull back, say sorry and expect I'll "play nice"- I don't think so.  To attack someone on their parenting style (which you did) is probably one of the meanest things you could do-good example for daughter!