Quote From: jenoc99No, you aren't selfish to want more affection! However, there needs to be some way that you can come to terms with the fact that, as you said, thats "just the way he is".... I think that the tension, or feelings of being 'on edge' as you describe when his kids are over, might be due to feelings of low self esteem or low self worth. Your value as a person shouldn't hinge on how much affection your mate gives you, it comes from within YOU. Both of your concerns that you describe can only be solved by you, not some outside source or your fiance. That probably isn't what you want to hear, and of course I'm no professional, but from what I have read in Dr. Phil's books and from my own personal experience, thats my advice to you.
A very close friend of mine was with a man who was much like you describe your fiance- very good provider, very upstanding and honest man, but he wasn't intimate with her, she finally decided to go to see a therepist due to her depression and after a few months she realized that her self worth wasn't equal to how much intimacy her boyfriend gave her. Its not an easy concept to accept, because I think alot of us women are raised to equate our self worth with men's affection- but they actually don't have much to do with each other. I wish you the best and hope that you can accept the way your boyfriend is, love him with his flaws, or decide you can't and move forward.
I want to thank you for your reply, however there is one part I don't agree with. I don't have feelings of low self esteem, or self worth, or rate my value as a person on how much affection he gives me, that is not it at all. My whole point is as a human being I would like to be interacted with more than i am.. Thats all. so much of the time he just watches TV, or UNWIND. But that can't go on all night. Then the odd thing is in a minute he'll change and want to be more sociable.
It is human nature to want to be talked to and interacted with. Not sit on the couch all night wishing he would talk to me.
