Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

Quote From: carmelo75

A little background info first. My fiance is the father of my youngest daughter. We met in college about 14 years ago. We had a on and off again relationship, because of him. He decided to be with someone else after I got pregnant.  About 10 years ago he came to me and really impressed upon me that I was the one he wanted to be with, that he wanted to marry me etc. We were living in different cities in the same state, which was the case most of the time.  Anyway...he cancelled a date with me once when he was supposed to come in to town and go see a comedy show with me. Come to find out he did come to town...he did go to the show, but with an ex-girlfriend, who also had a ring she called an engagement ring. It's a small world because one of my best friend's was in town, met a girl friend of hers to go to the same show, and the girl's boyfriend just happened to know "my guy". That's how I found out. I ended up finding out that he was living with the ex. So of course I knew I had to move on. I became celibate that day and have remained so until now. Sorry this is taking me so long. I dated someone else for about 5 years, that relationship ended, but  while I was still in that relationship, my daughter's father came to me again. He gave me details of bad relationships, women using him and professed his love for me once again. I didn't give in then. But two years after my other relationship ended I started dating him again long distance. He said he wanted to get married etc. but then my heart gets broken when he says  he got a young woman pregnant. He swears it was a mishap due to drinking and partying too hard and says he does not even remember the act. Several people I know think he should have a DNA test and that I should not marry him until he does. He has matured a great deal within the last two years, but I still have a hard time getting over this last incident with the child. I love him but I worry he will choose someone else over me again. Any thoughts?

Quote From: carmelo75

A little background info first. My fiance is the father of my youngest daughter. We met in college about 14 years ago. We had a on and off again relationship, because of him. He decided to be with someone else after I got pregnant.  About 10 years ago he came to me and really impressed upon me that I was the one he wanted to be with, that he wanted to marry me etc. We were living in different cities in the same state, which was the case most of the time.  Anyway...he cancelled a date with me once when he was supposed to come in to town and go see a comedy show with me. Come to find out he did come to town...he did go to the show, but with an ex-girlfriend, who also had a ring she called an engagement ring. It's a small world because one of my best friend's was in town, met a girl friend of hers to go to the same show, and the girl's boyfriend just happened to know "my guy". That's how I found out. I ended up finding out that he was living with the ex. So of course I knew I had to move on. I became celibate that day and have remained so until now. Sorry this is taking me so long. I dated someone else for about 5 years, that relationship ended, but  while I was still in that relationship, my daughter's father came to me again. He gave me details of bad relationships, women using him and professed his love for me once again. I didn't give in then. But two years after my other relationship ended I started dating him again long distance. He said he wanted to get married etc. but then my heart gets broken when he says  he got a young woman pregnant. He swears it was a mishap due to drinking and partying too hard and says he does not even remember the act. Several people I know think he should have a DNA test and that I should not marry him until he does. He has matured a great deal within the last two years, but I still have a hard time getting over this last incident with the child. I love him but I worry he will choose someone else over me again. Any thoughts?