Replies to 'Sex'

Hi everyone,  

This is my first time posting, and I'm seeking advice on a few issues.  I've been married for 2 years, together w/ my husband for 8 years.  I'm 26, he's 27.  Since I started dating (15 yrs old), I've had one consecutive boyfriend after another.  When one relationship ended, I was in another one right after.  So...I've never been alone, or at least not for long.  In addition to the fear of being alone, I can say that I've cheated on every person I've been w/.  I'm not sure why I do it.  Is it the excitement,  am I looking for something different?  I don't know.  I am currently in a relationship right now w/ a married man, it has been going on for almost a year now.  A few years back, I was in another relationship (for about 2 years)  at that point I was engaged, broke off the wedding, moved out, reconciled things w/ my husband-to-be and thought I learned my lesson and wouldn't stray again.  Well, I have.  My husband does not deserve "this".  To top things off, I am not sexually attracted to my husband.  I haven't been for years.  I have NO desire to have sex w/ him, and when I do, I can't wait for it to be over.  I am so disinterested in it.  He knows it.  It's something we've fought about for years.  At one point he wanted it every other day, and if we didn't, it would be a HUGE fight.  Then we came up w/ this "agreement" to once a week.  If we didn't do it on our scheduled day, he wouldn't fail to remind me, or remind me how long it's been since the last time we had intercourse.  He's made comments like "You're the wife, that's your responsibility" etc.  He's gotten better in the last 2 months, after a huge blow out fight and I said "wouldn't you rather have meaningful sex every few weeks, rather than sucky sex 1x a week"  he's been much much better since that comment.   But I still don't want to be intimate w/ him, I pretty much said it to get him off my back.  Every time he tries I pull away, I don't like it when he tries to get me in the mood.  It's been like this forever, it's not because I'm in the other relationship.  He says that I need to "try", I'm sorry, but either you're sexually attracted to someone or you're not.  I don't think it's fair for either of us to be in a marriage w/ the sexual issues we have.  The kicker is that he is extremely extremely attractive and I'm reminded of that everytime we're together and people comment on what a beautiful couple we are.  I really don't know what to do.  I'm sorry this is so long!  I've recently started seeing a counselor and I hope some of these ?'s can be answered.  I know if I ended things w/ my "boyfriend", someone else would probably come along.  I don't understand why I keep doing this and why I can't be sexually attracted to my husband.  I feel very empty w/ him and all he wants to do is make me happy and spend time together and he thinks everything is wonderful w/ us.  I should be grateful to have him in my life, but instead I'm confused about how I feel for him.