Replies to '05/29 Parenting Dilemmas'

My son who is now 23 has wanted to get a tatoo for years.  I really hate tattoos and find them ugly and low class, however now that he is an adult, of course he can do what he wants.  I do implore parents to help set limits for their children because as we all know (as adults) our beliefs, perspectives and decisions at a young age are not those that we maintain as we grow older and hopefully wiser.  Because a tatoo is such a permanent expression of a point in time, I believe it is better to avoid making such a long term decision until later in life.  The way I delayed my son's tatoo for years was to tell him that if he is able to afford to spend money on a tatoo, then he doesn't need my support for his college education, living expenses or other ways that I financially support him.  He needs to be spending his money on things that positively impact his future - not wasting it on a trendy tatoo.  I was fully prepared to end my support of him if he chose to spend hundreds of dollars on a tatoo.  He did choose to get his ears pierced (at one point with a wide guage) and bleach and color his hair.  As another poster mentioned, these are temporary expressions and can be changed - they are not permanent like a tatoo.  I love my son and want the best for him, and if he now chooses to get that tatoo he's been wanting, he can take some of his college graduation money and do that.  I just hope he decides to put it somewhere that can easily be covered - he is considering law school or politics and I wonder how his clients or constituents would feel about it?  To the poster above - it's naive to think that people aren't judged on their appearance - why do you think the diet, cosmetic, anti-aging and clothing industries are worth billions?  We don't even elect politicians anymore who aren't attractive and look good on television, regardless of how humanitarian they are.  As a society we make quick decisions about people and judge them based on their appearance - every study I've read proves that.  Even ancient civilizations and third world countries judge their members based on appearance - it is part of being human.