To queenpatt:
I can only imagine the pain you must feel as a mother, but please do not feel you "let him down", for you too, are one of his victims. See, that's the thing about sexual abuse, the offenders KNOW how to manipulate others, it's almost an art form with them, it's so perfected. They use shame, accusations, anything to keep the attention off of themselves and on to others. You don't mention how old your daughter was when your former husband began using her. He victimized you both, and he used you both in terrible ways. I pray you both have had counseling, or will get counseling. Without it, you are going to live with this terrible guilt that is not yours; you and your daughter have the opportunity to have a good relationship, perhaps, but only with a lot of counseling.
Also, you said he was a wonderful man for 8 of your 10 married years...was he really? There are plenty of married men whose wives cannot have sex for physical, health related reasons, but they don't all go looking for someone else to "satisfy" them (by the way, there are other ways without going outside of the marriage!). And how about how he used, abused, and then kicked your daughter out? That doesn't sound like a Prince Charming to me!
If you are in a good, solid marriage now, HOLD ON TO IT! This current husband deserves your love 100%, IF he is a good husband to you. If you ruin your relationship with him because of some sense of misguided loyalty or guilt over the previous man, then you will truly have something to feel guilty about.
I pray that you will make the right decisions and be able to move ahead with your life and relationships. If you would like to e-mail me for any reason, especially if you need to "vent", please let me know.
God's blessings to you...
