Replies to 'Divorce Support'

I'm half crazy that I won't survive without mine and we've been married just under 11 years, I can't imagine not being in someones life after 24 years of marriage. If she doesn't want you there then, I guess you are only hurting yourself by staying. Have you asked her how she hopes to survive? If she wants to go then you stay and let her go when she is ready to go.

I still can't imagine your pain, like I said, I'm only at 11 years and I have grown used to him being there if I need him, now he has someone else and though I don't think he and I belong married anymore ( no communication and things that just can't be forgiven ) it is still hard to let go of something that you've been around for that many years.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide, I will say a prayer for you.

How do you know that your leaving her won't be the best thing that ever happened to her?

How do you know that she won't find the second love of her life -- if she's that lucky?

Isn't she responsible for HER life? 

Aren't you being somewhat presumptious?  Sounds to me like she managed to take care of a house, make it a home and raise 2 kids to adulthood -- that's not nothing.  Being a Stay-at-home- Mom or Dad is HARD WORK (and I've always worked) and I bet there are PLENTY of employers willing to have that kind of hardworker on their payroll.

Let's say that you do begin divorce proceedings... will she not get 1/2 the house and any other assets including your 401K?  If she has been a homemaker for 31 years, odds are, she will also get alimony at least for a set amount of time.  So she won't be completely penniless.

Besides, have you asked her whether she really wants you to hang on?  Maybe she doesn't?  You won't know until have that conversation.

Something along the lines of... how can we separate so that BOTH of us are OKAY?

And just because you end the marriage doesn't mean you guys HAVE to be enemies.  You could even be friends if you wanted to -- refreshing thought I think.

I can tell you one thing... you only have ONE LIFE on this big blue ball we call Earth and to be unwilling to live it to it's fullest is a tragic waste of life -- in y'all's case tragic waste of LIVES.

Time to get OFF the pot.  Limbo is not living.

My two cents... (and I really wish the BEST for you BOTH, really I do.) Q

Leaving after 31 years is tough.  You are denying the situation by worrying what will happen to her after you divorce.  I can tell you at least half of everything you own is going with her.  House, car, retirement plan, you get my drift. 

You need to focus on yourself.  Daughters are trying to tell you something.  Get legal counsel, split things up and move on.  Be sure you distance yourself emotionally and physically otherwise she will suck you back in on your guilt.  It takes two willing participants to make a marriage work.  Wife is telling you she is not willing.