Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'

Quote From: ritehere

 I know you are going through some hard times, but think of all of the hardships you have already endured and overcome. You had no control over being put up for adoption and who adopted you. Many of us share a similar fate at the hands of those who give birth to us, at least you don't have to wonder if you share the same genes as these people. I'm not making light of your harrowing experiences with them, I'm pointing out a fact.
That someone within this family abused you is disgraceful, but that nobody believed you or took your side is even more so. That you stood up to them and left them when they showed no regard or loyalty to you shows a strength and inner regard that few of us have at such a tender age. This is a trait of the authentic self, to hold yourself important enough not to let others abuse you.
Same goes for your decision to leave your husband when he displayed abusive tendencies towards you. The fact that you remain in contact indicates that you have a forgiving and compassionate nature, that you are willing to give him a second chance, but not endure further abuse while he decides if he's going to pull his head out. This also indicates that you listen to your better and higher self. You have accepted that we can only change ourselves, and we can only influence others but not change them. If he does not decide to work on his anger and controlling attitude, this is not your fault. It is his, and also his loss. All you can do is point him in the right direction and hope the best for him.
We all want acceptance, approval, and love. But the first one we need to accept and love is ourselves. You have done this. You are such a strong person!  If you find it difficult to stay in therapy, there are  books out there that help. My personal recommendation is SELF MATTERS, but there are many. You may want to try to find a support group in your area.
My very best wishes to you and for your future.