Replies to 'Pornography'

Quote From: gagardener

I will try to make this brief, this seemed a safe place to post - I love Dr. Phil's show and I mostly just want a sounding board to see if I am over-reacting, which is what my spouse usually thinks I'm doing. I am in my mid-forties, two teenage children, a boy and a girl, and have just married a man I dated for three years, after being divorced for four years. I knew he looked at porn but not to the extent he has since we've been married. I guess you truly never know someone until you live with them. I am a very liberal person and have nothing against sexual "enhancements" but I believe it's something that should be explored as a couple, together, and not like most men do it. We have already had discussions about it. But here's my new dilemma: the other night he was on the internet andhe asked for my help with something -and accidentally clicked on the websites he's visited. One of them was a "teen" porn one. I didn't blow up about it, just quietly asked him was he really looking at that. He tried to explain it away by saying he didn't really go on it, he was "re-directed". But he's made joking comments in the past about teenagers in school uniforms, etc., and also he seems unusually pre-occupied recently with child abductions, sexual assaults and murders on the news. Not that I don't think they aren't tragic, because they are, it's a horrible thing, but I don't bring it up while we're out to dinner somewhere, or driving down the road. He'll all of a sudden change the subject from whatever we're talking about and mention a case on the news, and say maybe "I wonder what all that guy did to that little girl", etc. - making it sound like he's disgusted but showing a morbid fascination with it, at the same time.It doesn't give me a good feeling and I know it's not part ofmost "normal" conversation discussing the news. I'm sorry this is so long for a post, I'm just wondering if I'm paranoid or if I have a legitimate concern,maybe should try going to counseling with him?? Please, any comments and input will be appreciated.

Quote From: gagardener

I will try to make this brief, this seemed a safe place to post - I love Dr. Phil's show and I mostly just want a sounding board to see if I am over-reacting, which is what my spouse usually thinks I'm doing. I am in my mid-forties, two teenage children, a boy and a girl, and have just married a man I dated for three years, after being divorced for four years. I knew he looked at porn but not to the extent he has since we've been married. I guess you truly never know someone until you live with them. I am a very liberal person and have nothing against sexual "enhancements" but I believe it's something that should be explored as a couple, together, and not like most men do it. We have already had discussions about it. But here's my new dilemma: the other night he was on the internet andhe asked for my help with something -and accidentally clicked on the websites he's visited. One of them was a "teen" porn one. I didn't blow up about it, just quietly asked him was he really looking at that. He tried to explain it away by saying he didn't really go on it, he was "re-directed". But he's made joking comments in the past about teenagers in school uniforms, etc., and also he seems unusually pre-occupied recently with child abductions, sexual assaults and murders on the news. Not that I don't think they aren't tragic, because they are, it's a horrible thing, but I don't bring it up while we're out to dinner somewhere, or driving down the road. He'll all of a sudden change the subject from whatever we're talking about and mention a case on the news, and say maybe "I wonder what all that guy did to that little girl", etc. - making it sound like he's disgusted but showing a morbid fascination with it, at the same time.It doesn't give me a good feeling and I know it's not part ofmost "normal" conversation discussing the news. I'm sorry this is so long for a post, I'm just wondering if I'm paranoid or if I have a legitimate concern,maybe should try going to counseling with him?? Please, any comments and input will be appreciated.

Quote From: gagardener

I will try to make this brief,  this seemed a safe place to post -  I love Dr. Phil's show and I mostly just want a sounding board to see if I am over-reacting,  which is what my spouse usually thinks I'm doing.  I am in my mid-forties,  two teenage children, a boy and a girl,  and have just married a man I dated for three years, after being divorced for four years.  I knew he looked at porn but not to the extent he has since we've been married.  I guess you truly never know someone until you live with them.   I am a very liberal person and have nothing against sexual "enhancements" but I believe it's something that should be explored as a couple, together, and not like most men do it.  We have already had discussions about it.  But here's my new dilemma: the other night he was on the internet and he asked for my help with something - and accidentally clicked on the websites he's visited.  One of them was a "teen" porn one.  I didn't blow up about it,  just quietly asked him was he really looking at that. He tried to explain it away by saying he didn't really go on it, he was "re-directed".   But he's made joking comments in the past about teenagers in school uniforms, etc.,  and also he seems unusually pre-occupied recently with child abductions, sexual assaults and murders on the news.  Not that I don't think they aren't tragic,  because they are,  it's a horrible thing, but I don't bring it up while we're out to dinner somewhere, or driving down the road.  He'll all of a sudden change the subject from whatever we're talking about and mention a case on the news,  and say maybe "I wonder what all that guy did to that little girl", etc. -   making it sound like he's disgusted but showing a morbid fascination with it,  at the same time.  It doesn't give me a good feeling and I know it's not part of most "normal" conversation discussing the news.   I'm sorry this is so long for a post,  I'm just wondering if I'm paranoid or if I have a legitimate concern, maybe should try going to counseling with him??   Please,  any comments and input will be appreciated.