Replies to '05/29 Parenting Dilemmas'

Thank you.   

  

Actually I have formed a tight bond with my husband's Aunt, as she lives close and helps me out, listens and I know that I can call her for anything and she loves my 7 year old just like one of her grandchilden.  I have also gotten closer with my mother's brother (my uncle), I trusted him enough to let him know what happend just recently and now he has kinda stepped in as a father figure and calls me or I call him about once every two weeks.   

  

I just am still confused to whether or not I should pursue any type of relationship with my mother.  I go back and forth and still haven't come up with any real answers. 

I want to say that my heart goes out to you. And I was even guilty of being drawn to talk about tattoos...maybe it is because it is easier to talk about. That doesn't make it right though. Maybe Dr. Phil should have a show just about Abuse...it may have gotten over shadowed by being linked with other topics. Although I do feel he was trying to adress the relationship of the Mother and Daughter after abuse, not so much the abuse. The more I think about it, There should be a show about Sexual Abuse. It is very true that it is a subject that still needs to have more attension...it happens so much more than is reported and unfortunatly the victims are still feeling they are at fault. The effects of sexual Assult and Abuse are so unfortunatly numberous as well. As you mentioned, drinking, drugs, depression, addiction to name a few. I happen to belong to a Victims Rights Advocate Group in my area.  The group runs a hotline for victim support, and we are constantly working to support public awareness. We also work on trying to get laws passed and or not passed that would effect the victims of these horrible acts( Sexual Abuse). Actually I am not really one to press advice on others...but I do have some thoughts for you that maybe helpful. First I think you should call a Sexual Assult hotline...they could get you a  trained counsoler they maybe be better at helping with this matter...not saying your isn't good, but it is worth a try. I think it is great you have a husband and a child who love you and are there for you. Unfortunatly I think we always will have a void due to abuse, that can't ever be filled. I am sorry that your Mom choose to handle it the way she has. I don't feel having her in your life this way is helpful to you, and she really can't be a part of it if she doesn't change how she feels towards him. My personal feeling is I would lay down life and limb for my kids, and I would have NO part to do with anyone who would hurt them.  You don't need her brand of love...it is not true love( my persoanl thoughs). And above all else, remember that you are a valueable person...and your very brave for standing up for yourself...it only gets better from here. Trust me. The only other thing I would offer as advice, is God, if you have a religion...seek God. NO I am not a Bible pusher by any means ( after all I am covered by tats...lol), But I do believe in God, and I believe that he has helped my so much in my life, and for that I am grateful. I wish you all the best.