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jnmiller65
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September 1, 2005, 6:00 pm PDT

Pregnancy Loss

Quote From: jessica24

Why do women miscarry? Why don't we have answers to our miscarrages?  

I lost my first baby at 19 weeks. I gave birth to a little boy, Christian, after a 2 week stay in the hospital. That was almost 2 years ago and it still hurts so much and am constantly thinking about it. the second one was at 6 weeks and I just think why? Last year my sister had 2 miscarriages too. It seems so unfair. I'm so scared to fall pregnant because what if it happens again? Yet I long for a baby of our own. I love kids. I work as a nanny for two boys 3yrs and 20mths, they are beautiful and I love my job but I just want to be a mother. Jessica.  

I wish I could answer that for you as well as my self!  I lost my daughter Kaylee Jean on June 18, 2005 @ 16 weeks.  This has been the worst time in my life.  We were so happy after going though a year of infertility treatments and spending thousands of dollars, now all we have is grief and sorrow.  It's so hard to even think about trying again, but we are not ready to give up hope.  This was my fifth miscarriage and the farthest I've ever carried a baby.  I feel the same as you, I'm so scared yet I long for my own child.  Is that to much to ask?  Sometimes it seems like it is!  Well, I wish you the best and with hope things will work out for us!  God Bless You -Jennifer
 
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mom2boys
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September 6, 2005, 7:11 am PDT

Pregnancy Loss

Quote From: jessica24

Why do women miscarry? Why don't we have answers to our miscarrages?  

I lost my first baby at 19 weeks. I gave birth to a little boy, Christian, after a 2 week stay in the hospital. That was almost 2 years ago and it still hurts so much and am constantly thinking about it. the second one was at 6 weeks and I just think why? Last year my sister had 2 miscarriages too. It seems so unfair. I'm so scared to fall pregnant because what if it happens again? Yet I long for a baby of our own. I love kids. I work as a nanny for two boys 3yrs and 20mths, they are beautiful and I love my job but I just want to be a mother. Jessica.  

Jessica,  I so wish I had the answers to give to you.  I lost 3 babies during our 4 yrs of infertility.  I was so blessed to have an amazing Dr who ordered many tests on me and even more lucky to have an answer. I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder Factor V Leidan. I received 2 shots of heparin a day in my belly for the 9 months of my pregnancy and for 6 weeks after I gave birth. I urge you to seek your Dr.s opinion. Having answers helped me so much. I still grieve for my lost angels and know they look over my family. Nancy
 
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whitelaw94
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October 10, 2005, 5:32 am PDT

Pregnancy Loss

Quote From: jessica24

Why do women miscarry? Why don't we have answers to our miscarrages?  

I lost my first baby at 19 weeks. I gave birth to a little boy, Christian, after a 2 week stay in the hospital. That was almost 2 years ago and it still hurts so much and am constantly thinking about it. the second one was at 6 weeks and I just think why? Last year my sister had 2 miscarriages too. It seems so unfair. I'm so scared to fall pregnant because what if it happens again? Yet I long for a baby of our own. I love kids. I work as a nanny for two boys 3yrs and 20mths, they are beautiful and I love my job but I just want to be a mother. Jessica.  

I'm sorry for the loss of your child at 19 weeks. I to have lost children, I am the average everyday woman however after giving birth to my daughter Amy I became pregnant again and was due on my wedding anniversary unfortunatley this was not to be as the baby died at 13 weeks.  I then became pregnant again however this was to be a joyous and sad occassion, you see I was carrying twins and one died.  That was eight years ago and the pain is always there just a different sort of pain.  I still often think about my children because to me they are children I just never got to name or hold them.  Feelings about this are so wide and varied and the best thing that I have found is to acknowledge the fact that is has happened and to always be able to talk to anyone about it so that more people are aware of the feelings that come with this loss of life.
 
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harley114
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August 6, 2007, 1:51 pm PDT

I have been there and done that

Quote From: jessica24

Why do women miscarry? Why don't we have answers to our miscarrages?  

I lost my first baby at 19 weeks. I gave birth to a little boy, Christian, after a 2 week stay in the hospital. That was almost 2 years ago and it still hurts so much and am constantly thinking about it. the second one was at 6 weeks and I just think why? Last year my sister had 2 miscarriages too. It seems so unfair. I'm so scared to fall pregnant because what if it happens again? Yet I long for a baby of our own. I love kids. I work as a nanny for two boys 3yrs and 20mths, they are beautiful and I love my job but I just want to be a mother. Jessica.  

I have two kids from a previous marriage, whom my husband has now adopted.  I lost our first baby at 16 weeks and our second baby at 18 weeks.  The first one I had to deliver because of his size and the second one I just had a D&C because he wasn't fully developed.  We buried our first son, named Ryan Jeffery.  Our second son we named Matthew Gregory.  Through testing we had found out they were both boys.  This October it will have been 10 years since I lost Ryan and 8 years since I lost Matthew, and every year around that time the pain is as intense as it was then.  I think about them on a daily basis, what they would be doing at this point if they had made it, what grade they would be going into this school year, what they would look like etc.  Unfortunately, the pain never really goes away, it is just something you learn to live with.  I will never forget about my boys and I even have an angel tattoo holding an angel baby on my right shoulder blade in honor of them.  From the moment you are pregnant, you are a mom.  I had so much guilt for so long that there was something I could have done to protect my boys and I didn't, even though logically I knew it wasn't my fault, my heart would tell me otherwise.  Hang in there, you will learn to live with it and I'm sure you will have the chance to be a mom again.  But, you will never forget Christian.  Rhonda
 
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