Replies to '06/07 Moms' Biggest Mistakes'

I am not sure just how old your children are but they are old enough to know better than to put SUCH high expectations on their mother who they can CLEARLY see is working two jobs just to provide the necessities.  To the "children" themselves - shame on you.  You are old enough to know better than to provide your mother with such incredibly selfish lists of expectations for Christmas.  If, as I believe I saw that your mother wrote, you both have jobs, then SAVE your money for the desired iPod and a specific computer (or whatever other expensive high tech equipment you feel you deserve!)  Give your mother the opportunity to feel HAPPY about what she is ABLE to give you by being HAPPY yourselves with a WHOLE lot less.  I mean, you might as well have just handed your mother the entire Circuit City catalogue and told her THAT is what you expected.  I am frankly ASHAMED to think that there are young teenagers in this world today who, quite honestly, are behaving like spoiled 4 year olds.  Grow UP and SUPPORT your mother.  Try looking at what you might give HER as a gift come Christmas, or her Birthday or Mother's Day or tomorrow - just because she is your Mom.  Little do you know how VERY lucky you are to have a mother who is concerned enough about you to have even contacted Dr. Phil regarding the pressure she feels to provide more and more and YET more for you.  Now, I have some questions for you:  (1) When did you last go to bed at night hungry? (2) When did you last go to school with holes in your shoes - or NO shoes? (3) When did you last pay your way to a movie while wearing jeans that were either 2 sizes too small because you'd outgrown them - OR 3 or 4 sizes too big because you had to wear hand-me-downs and they were still WAY too big for you. (4) Have you ever broken a bone or been extremely sick but weren't taken to the Doctor?  Please let me know about these questions, kids.   

   

Now, I have a few more:   

   

1. Do you have a television set?  (never mind perhaps more than one)   

2. Do you have more than one pair of shoes?   

3. Does your family own an automobile?   

4. Do you have a bicycle?   

5. Have you gotten the iPod you asked for last December?   

6. Do you have a bed to sleep in by yourself?   

   

If you answered "yes" to the above questions, then you are clearly living in the United States of America and are amongst the top 1% of the wealthiest children on earth.  As a matter of "fate" you were born into the wealthiest society on earth; one where you have the OPPORTUNITY even at your tender ages to HAVE a job.  I sponsor a child in India whose mother works as a laborer to support HER two children. She earns the equivalent of $17.00 per month for harder work than you will probably know in your entire lifetimes.  Her daughters are lucky to have ONE dress. They carry water daily to use for cooking, drinking, bathing, washing clothes, etc.  The 7 year old often has this duty. Her father died when she was just an infant.  With the money I send this child for her Birthday, (and there is a maximum or I'd happily send more)  she is THRILLED to purchase pencils, school books, one school uniform, one dress.     

   

Now, YOU children, think just a LITTLE bit before you put such high expectations and pressure on your mother.  If you know the meaning of the word "gratitude" then try writing down each day 5 things for which you are grateful.  And let me suggest that the first thing for which you just MIGHT stop and feel grateful for is that you were born in the United States.  That alone makes you part of the wealthiest and most fortunate children on the face of this earth.  The 2nd thing for which you just might feel grateful is that you have a mother who cares SO much for and about you!  

   

I hope I hear from you. And I hope you find yourselves in MUCH happier frames of mind when you stop and really think just a bit about how the rest of the world lives. When you stop and think that your mother works equally as hard for YOUR benefit as the mother in India works for her children.  You are VERY fortunate that your mother just gets paid a whole lot more than she would if you'd all been born in India in anything but the wealthiest class. (There IS no middle class in India - and the same is true for MANY countries around the world. )  So kids, be grateful for your mother and see what you can do for HER for a change; ask her what SHE might like and see what you can do to provide it.  STOP putting your mother LAST on your priority list  and let her know how grateful you are for her.  You'll learn a WHOLE lot more about life and prepare yourselves with a decent future for yourselves, your mother and YOUR future children if you learn the secrets of GRATITUDE.     

   

Sincerely,   

Spirit of "42   

   

who raised 4 children and was the single mother of two for three years.   

I think it's harder when Dad doesn't back up Mom.  I don't know your whole story or how Dad fits into the picture,  but when my kids are driving me crazy with their demands my husband gives them a reality check. He's also the one who makes sure I get cards and appreciation on special days.  It must be hard if there isn't another parent to do this.  We live in a affluent area and I know this will come up for us in a few years.   I'm a stay at home mom and we live modestly. If we won the lotto tomorrow we wouldn't spoil our kids out of principle. The school my daughter attends sent home a note telling parents not to send "limos" to pick up elementary school children on the last day of school!  Who would do this?  My kids are only 7,4, and 2 so the pressure is not coming from them yet.  Be tough and stick to your guns. They may not understand now but they will later. I was raised by a single mom and had to work my way through life and I'm better for it.  I love my mom and appreciate her so much more now that I'm a mom. By the way I thought your kids were very nice. Your daughter was attentive and caring with the younger kids and they are obviously being taught the right things at home.