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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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June 9, 2006, 6:17 am PDT
 Quote From: aroura On Mothers day weekend, my ex-husband came up to me and asked me if the girls could live with him. Why? I asked. He said that he is missing out with the girls and wants to spend the time with them. He said that he was moving next year and wanted to spend time with him. My answer to him was NO. I have been able since our divorce, maintane a stable enviorment, work full time, have adequent child care after school, be home everynight for dinner, help with homework and bedtimes. I am there for all the tears and laughter. I am there when my oldest has to go to Shriners hospital for her apointments. He has always been in formed of everyting that goes on in the girls lives. Yes, he lives in the same area. He has had all the oportunity to go with our daughter to her apointments. My girls are doing great in school. My oldest has a 3.o average. My youngest made 100% on all of her state required testest. Now, there father has never been home, even when we were married. Has never been involved with the girls in school, after school, homework. Has never come to see the girls on his one night aweek visit. Is barely home when the girls go over for his weekend. His wife sees the girls more than he does. (Her and I do not get along either) Last year, I got remarried to a wonderful guy who is more involved with the girls. The girls love their father. But, they don't want to live with him either. When their step mom gets mad, everyone suffers and they do not like it. So, let me ask, what kind of mom would I be if I let my girls move in with him? He lives in a different school zone. I told him NO. The odds of him taking the girls with him are that much greater. I was not born yesturday. I am a good mom. Ladies, if your ex is trying to bully you, stick to your guns if you have primary custoldial residentacy, no one can take that away from you. What my ex is doing is wrong, he can not see that right now. This battle is not over for me, I am sticking to my guns and contuning to give my girls love and support. Just because he wants something doesn't mean it's for the right reasons. You are right in thinking and saying he has the opportunity to be more involved now. It sounds like a ploy to me. He probably thinks if he has them for a year, when he moves, they will want to go with him. He also probably thinks if you sign them over to him this will show your children you really don't want them. Stick to it. Talk to the girls and tell them their father wants to be more active in their lives but they will still live with you. Be careful. He may start with the bribes. This is what my X has done. Trips, clothes, perfume, etc. They may be too young to respond to it now, but the teenage years are coming and that is when they get selfish. I'm glad to hear he's moving away. I wish my X would. lol Keep the girls grades up as well as their attendence at school. If he has them during school, make sure you keep track if the girls are late getting to school or missing school on his time. Also pay attention to homework. Watch and see if he does his job as a parent and journal all of it. This way, if he does try and take them, you will have proof of your skills to his. It sounds like you are already good at keeping track of most of it. Journal all of it so you can show proof if you need it. All in all, I say you are right on. Stand your ground.
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