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Replies to 'Depression'
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June 8, 2006, 6:21 pm PDT
 Quote From: lauriej Yes we should love ourselves but we also desire to be loved, accepted and understood by others, especially a mate.
Andre and I are up in the air I guess, we have been having alot of problems and it has exculated. One problem was he has not been doing anything, around the house but most importantly with me, he will not talk to me therefore we don't discuss our problems only fight about them. He will not spend anytime with me, he won't plan anything with me. I have tried to tell him that I just want to spend some time with him. that I need attention but he refuses. When we fight he looks at me with such hate, he has said so many things, I have too that I don't know if it can be fixed. Now my ex has involved himself and more or less given me a choice my kids or Andre, he is threatening to call social services, even though the kids were not even here, in fact I called my one daughter and told her to go to her dads afterwork so she would not be here, the kids have never been in an danger and I haven't either, I did feel very trapped last night, he was yelling and fighting, I felt I couldn't leave and I didnt' know who to call both my parents have passed away, who else do you turn to? If we do stay together now and I don't even no if that is what he is thinking, so much more has to be done because I will not lose my kids but I will not let their dad control my life, that is why we are divorced to get away from him but he still manages to get right in there in my business and my life, then tells everyone that even with everything that has gone on he still cares for me.
Andre is not the same person as when I met him, in the last year he has changed alot, since his brother has moved here, since then I don't matter. I guess the reason I stay with him is I know how he can be how he was, how much fun we had together and how happy we were. I don't know if it is because of his brother or my depression that I have had for at least a year maybe longer, I have no concept of time, I have no idea when it started. But I know things with us have exculated because of frustration and not know what to do or how to fix it.
To me it still wouldn't take much for me to stay and work on things but this time we will have to work on it not just go along and hope for the best.
Laurie I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is not easy by any means. I guess you may already know having an ex. I, myself, do not understand there need to leave but then still want to control what goes on your life as if we are children and need a babysitter. I am diabled due to my condition so mine gets away with because he knows I still him to survive. It is a sick joke.
I wish I could give you better advice on this but unfortunately being in the midst of the beginning of the divorce all I want to say is "run..." As hard and harsh as it may sound but I waited for mine for 18 years to change into the person I wanted; this fantasy that I conjured up i n my own head in an attempt to keep from feeling lonely. I am slowly learning that women don't need a made to make themselves happy. Fairy Tales have conditioned us to think this way. That we should Princesss waiting for our Night and Shining Armour to rush in and whisk us to some magic land. But just as we get disappointed to learn Fairytales are not real, we get even more disappointed to find there aren't any prince charmings either.
I hope that things get better for you but if you are ever in a situation that causes you that much fear you need to get out immediately and call for help. You may think you know someone and what they are capable of but the reality is we don't and we have to stay smart for ourselves.
I think it would be tough dealing with a current and an ex. Why would he want to take your kids away instead of just merely helping you with the situation? It doesn't make sense to me. You were wise to send your kids some place else for their safety. I think anyone would commend you for that.
I will keep you in my prayers!
MIMI |
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June 8, 2006, 7:21 pm PDT
Quote From: lauriej Yes we should love ourselves but we also desire to be loved, accepted and understood by others, especially a mate.
Andre and I are up in the air I guess, we have been having alot of problems and it has exculated. One problem was he has not been doing anything, around the house but most importantly with me, he will not talk to me therefore we don't discuss our problems only fight about them. He will not spend anytime with me, he won't plan anything with me. I have tried to tell him that I just want to spend some time with him. that I need attention but he refuses. When we fight he looks at me with such hate, he has said so many things, I have too that I don't know if it can be fixed. Now my ex has involved himself and more or less given me a choice my kids or Andre, he is threatening to call social services, even though the kids were not even here, in fact I called my one daughter and told her to go to her dads afterwork so she would not be here, the kids have never been in an danger and I haven't either, I did feel very trapped last night, he was yelling and fighting, I felt I couldn't leave and I didnt' know who to call both my parents have passed away, who else do you turn to? If we do stay together now and I don't even no if that is what he is thinking, so much more has to be done because I will not lose my kids but I will not let their dad control my life, that is why we are divorced to get away from him but he still manages to get right in there in my business and my life, then tells everyone that even with everything that has gone on he still cares for me.
Andre is not the same person as when I met him, in the last year he has changed alot, since his brother has moved here, since then I don't matter. I guess the reason I stay with him is I know how he can be how he was, how much fun we had together and how happy we were. I don't know if it is because of his brother or my depression that I have had for at least a year maybe longer, I have no concept of time, I have no idea when it started. But I know things with us have exculated because of frustration and not know what to do or how to fix it.
To me it still wouldn't take much for me to stay and work on things but this time we will have to work on it not just go along and hope for the best.
Laurie I can't really stay on now-I have to get to bed early because I have to be somewhere early tomorrow morning.
I only caught glimpses of your latest stuff with Andre. I will try to read through things more carefully when I can.
I hope you are doing alright. My thoughts are with you and I hope you are not making yourself crazy. I guess I'll know more when I read up on things.
Take care and have a good night..I'll speak to you soon. Hugs..Suzanne |
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