Replies to 'Depression'

I just logged back on and read you post.  I not only saw you pain, but felt it also.  You are a good person.  I feel that.  You see, I don't have many close friends either.  I live a quiet lonely life.  Yes, I am married, but, when it comes to friends and going out, I don't have that. 

  

It is not that I am mean or existent, I am., I guess invisible.   

  

You are not garbage.  You are a person.  A woman who hurts, cries, and feels pain.  You are you.  Please, don't ever call yourself garbage.  You remind me of me.  Trust me, not a place you want to visit.  So, I will do what I can to reach out.  I will give you my hand and reach to you.  Grab you, and pull you up.  Trust me, if I can make it, you can. 

  

I am also from Oregon.  Beautiful state. 

  

Drop me a line if you choose.  I would love to reach out and help. 

  

Neko/Vickie 

I hear you Liz.  I feel the same exact way.   I am a complete loser as well and the sad thing about it is I'm only 26.  I should be out partying and having a life, but I am alone.  Completely alone!!!!! I have no friends and no one to talk to especially when I am ready to die.  I want to be normal and make friends but I am so scared.  Of what???? I don't know.  I try to make female friends but they always always disappoint me they act like they want to hang out but never ever call or hold to their word.  I hate it I don't consider females trustworthy.  My boyfriend and I broke up from a completely bad/dysfunctional relationship of 2yrs about a little over 2 months ago.  So, now I don't even have that.  He was the first one I ever loved and that had had an amazing sexual relationship with that I've never experienced before.  I used to think that was just one more thing wrong with me.  That I wasn't able to perform sexually but he brought that out.   Wow once less thing to worry about(ha ha).  To top it all off.  My birthday is on the 25th of this month and I have nobody to go out with or any plans of celebration.  It's a constant reminder how alone I am and IT KILLS ME INSIDE.  I HATE MYSELF AND FEAR WILL NEVER ACCEPT ME FOR ME.  I PLACE MY VALUE ON OTHERS ACCEPTING ME AND I AM DISAPPOINTED EVERYTIME.  My own mother hung up on me a week ago when I needed to talk I am just too much to deal with and she never was sympathetic at all towards me.  I have no support for depression.  So, I say that if I die NO ONE WILL CARE OR NOTICE.  MY MOM WON'T CARE.  I haven't heard from at all and there has been times in the past I've held a knife to myself and she didn't do anything.  I just wish she wouldn't have brought me into this world.  I want to die but am too chicken**** to do it.  So, if anyone has any suggestions for the easiest least painful way let me know.