Message Boards
Replies to 'How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me'
|
June 29, 2006, 7:21 am PDT
 Quote From: mhopeful My husband was sexually abused by his mother for years. He had blocked it out for 30ty years and has since attended sex abuse groups, counseling and found out later by sharing some of his story, others talked about him outside the group. Now he will not talk about it to anybody. He has anger, rage ontop of severe depression. Lately he doesnt even want to pray and our relationship is worse than ever. Anyone understand what I am talking about? When someone breaks the trust we have in them it does throw us. Your husband trusted those people to be quiet and they failed him. You must be going through some of what my husband has gone through with me. My last abuse was by a counselor who used his info to try to get sex from me. This is a break in the trust. And when we have suffered as children we have a hard time as an adult to put things where they belong. I guess all I can offer you is my support for you too know you are not alone. My husband took great verbal abuse from me when I was going through my last ordeal, but he stayed strong for me and he is still here with me. Now our ordeal, me being hateful to him was not short lived, it was over three years before I was able to gain some control of myself. Pray my dear, pray and hold on. I too will hold you up in prayer, to keep you strong in your love for your husband and to keep you strong for yourself. My husband keeps telling me, "I will still be here." after I tell him how worried I am that he will get his fill. But I think I am learning he is telling the truth.
I must address the fact that as a male being abused, it gives a whole new set of problems. Men are suppose to enjoy sex aren't they? That is just a stupid thought many have. He was a child abused by an adult; using him for their own sexual gratification, that is sick. But, he will have many questions and problems, just as a female child. We were children, it does not matter the sex.
Hold on and time does let us see out steps forward. Remember, hope is a wonderful future. |
|
|
July 1, 2006, 7:11 am PDT
Quote From: mhopeful My husband was sexually abused by his mother for years. He had blocked it out for 30ty years and has since attended sex abuse groups, counseling and found out later by sharing some of his story, others talked about him outside the group. Now he will not talk about it to anybody. He has anger, rage ontop of severe depression. Lately he doesnt even want to pray and our relationship is worse than ever. Anyone understand what I am talking about? Sharing my story as encouragement that there is hope.
I am a survivor of childhood abuse, as an adult right before the statue of limitations ended for me, I was able to take one of my abusers to court. He pleaded guilty and got ten years...9 years suspended and served one year and got out early for good behavior and then drove by my house and waved to let me know he was out. The effects of the abuse were many and four years ago I started a journey to healing... It has been very helpful and still on it. The key to healing... The truth is the road to healing... I am learning who I am... Putting the blame where it belongs... Understanding that I am worthy and am somebody... Living my life today by making choices that are positive and enrich my life.... Healing means facing the truth of what happened and giving myself freedom from what others did to me. Facing my struggles and issues and looking for the resources to help myself.... Understanding that nobody can help me unless I am willing to help myself.... Wanting to heal is a big one, we hurt and are so afraid to face it that we walk life in pain but when we decide to face our truth, it is amazing what we find out... Healing means that I cannot blame everything that is wrong in my life on my past...I am an adult now and need to take responsibility for who I am, I need to make changes, I need to be a survivor and not a victim. I have a lot of work ahead of me but feel encouraged that I made the choice to begin the process of healing because if not still today I would be in the same pain, misery and my abusers smiles somewhere as they have moved on in life and it doesn't matter to them. Why should they be happy and me be miserable? Taking care of myself has made me a much healthier person, my struggles are many but feel hope that it does get even better then it is because I have stood up for myself and am caring for myself as a person and not a nobody...I am somebody and so are you...all of you that are out there that have been abused.... I encourage people to start the journey of healing.... There are resources everywhere, depends on what you need most, but you know that. Al I needed is to want to do it and a good Psychologist that could walk me through it and so I continue.... Hang in there...been there and am there....there is hope even at our darkest moments. Breaking the silence will give you life again... Take care and know that there is hope.... |
|
Return to the Message Board
