Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'

As I look at the messages that people are writing here - filled with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, pain, insufficient self esteem - I am struck by one thought.  

The thought that strikes me is:  

"What is it that we all really want?"   

The answer to that question - if we all really stop and think about it carefully and deeply - is really quite simple.  

The answer is - the freedom to choose.  

We often say that we want the big house, the large bank account, the prestige car, the perfect family - but is that really what WE want for our own self?  No of course it is not.  We want the feelings that are associated with those things - we want the feeling of achievement, we want the comfort - or is it?  

What each of us want the freedom to choose - the freedom to be whatever we want to be without the imposition of the values and thoughts and expectations of others.  

So everyone - STOP - take a breath and look at your own self - not the image you see in the mirror each morning but the person deep within you.  Then use that person - that self - that individual - for self determination.  

That is what the struggle for the authentic self is really all about.  I have found that place in my own self - along with my new life partner (and in some ways thanks to her) - each of us can be whatever we want - and in giving our self that freedom we find underlying and everlasting happiness.  The happiness that can help each of us deal with the normal everyday "stuff" that life throws at us.  

So as you move forward with your life look not for what others have said we need but look instead for the choice of your own life.  

As I look at the messages that people are writing here - filled with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, pain, insufficient self esteem - I am struck by one thought.  

The thought that strikes me is:  

"What is it that we all really want?"   

The answer to that question - if we all really stop and think about it carefully and deeply - is really quite simple.  

The answer is - the freedom to choose.  

We often say that we want the big house, the large bank account, the prestige car, the perfect family - but is that really what WE want for our own self?  No of course it is not.  We want the feelings that are associated with those things - we want the feeling of achievement, we want the comfort - or is it?  

What each of us want the freedom to choose - the freedom to be whatever we want to be without the imposition of the values and thoughts and expectations of others.  

So everyone - STOP - take a breath and look at your own self - not the image you see in the mirror each morning but the person deep within you.  Then use that person - that self - that individual - for self determination.  

That is what the struggle for the authentic self is really all about.  I have found that place in my own self - along with my new life partner (and in some ways thanks to her) - each of us can be whatever we want - and in giving our self that freedom we find underlying and everlasting happiness.  The happiness that can help each of us deal with the normal everyday "stuff" that life throws at us.  

So as you move forward with your life look not for what others have said we need but look instead for the choice of your own life.  

As I look at the messages that people are writing here - filled with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, pain, insufficient self esteem - I am struck by one thought.  

The thought that strikes me is:  

"What is it that we all really want?"   

The answer to that question - if we all really stop and think about it carefully and deeply - is really quite simple.  

The answer is - the freedom to choose.  

We often say that we want the big house, the large bank account, the prestige car, the perfect family - but is that really what WE want for our own self?  No of course it is not.  We want the feelings that are associated with those things - we want the feeling of achievement, we want the comfort - or is it?  

What each of us want the freedom to choose - the freedom to be whatever we want to be without the imposition of the values and thoughts and expectations of others.  

So everyone - STOP - take a breath and look at your own self - not the image you see in the mirror each morning but the person deep within you.  Then use that person - that self - that individual - for self determination.  

That is what the struggle for the authentic self is really all about.  I have found that place in my own self - along with my new life partner (and in some ways thanks to her) - each of us can be whatever we want - and in giving our self that freedom we find underlying and everlasting happiness.  The happiness that can help each of us deal with the normal everyday "stuff" that life throws at us.  

So as you move forward with your life look not for what others have said we need but look instead for the choice of your own life.