Replies to 'Depression'

I can't take it...the road has been more  challenging that I ever imagined. The pain immense.  The FRUSTRATIONS in life, unfair.  My existence has no meaning. I have tried and tried over the years,  I have made numerous contacts.  I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis.  I go from site to site and read as much as I can, I struggle to read and comprehend. I give all my love and compassion to my lovely wife and wonderful children and grandson.  I seek search, ask, beg, plead, and to no avail. 

It's just a fantasy to think I can really lead a productive and happy life.  On the road to self destruction with the cigaretts, stress, lack of normalcy, lack of a lot of things I consider essentials, personal and private matters beyond the depression that the doctors tell me they have no answers for. The obsessive thinking, the total lack of anything except for mere existince.   

Is this life?  Is this hell?  Am I being punished?  What more is there?   

No one seems to have any answers.  There are answers, but our country and society doesn't have tiem for me.  This walk I call life is hard,  the walk takes me nowhere, it;s torture, pain and all routes are dead ends. 

ANother dead end ahead.......peace will come soon enough.  It;s what I feel.  I can;t help what I feel.  The hopes turn to fears, the dreams to nightmares,the light to darkness, the comfort to lonliness, so deep and empty, life turns to choices, the choices are driven by my mind, I have no control.   

So what's next?  Nothing! 

I can't take it...the road has been more  challenging that I ever imagined. The pain immense.  The FRUSTRATIONS in life, unfair.  My existence has no meaning. I have tried and tried over the years,  I have made numerous contacts.  I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis.  I go from site to site and read as much as I can, I struggle to read and comprehend. I give all my love and compassion to my lovely wife and wonderful children and grandson.  I seek search, ask, beg, plead, and to no avail. 

It's just a fantasy to think I can really lead a productive and happy life.  On the road to self destruction with the cigaretts, stress, lack of normalcy, lack of a lot of things I consider essentials, personal and private matters beyond the depression that the doctors tell me they have no answers for. The obsessive thinking, the total lack of anything except for mere existince.   

Is this life?  Is this hell?  Am I being punished?  What more is there?   

No one seems to have any answers.  There are answers, but our country and society doesn't have tiem for me.  This walk I call life is hard,  the walk takes me nowhere, it;s torture, pain and all routes are dead ends. 

ANother dead end ahead.......peace will come soon enough.  It;s what I feel.  I can;t help what I feel.  The hopes turn to fears, the dreams to nightmares,the light to darkness, the comfort to lonliness, so deep and empty, life turns to choices, the choices are driven by my mind, I have no control.   

So what's next?  Nothing! 

I can't take it...the road has been more  challenging that I ever imagined. The pain immense.  The FRUSTRATIONS in life, unfair.  My existence has no meaning. I have tried and tried over the years,  I have made numerous contacts.  I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis.  I go from site to site and read as much as I can, I struggle to read and comprehend. I give all my love and compassion to my lovely wife and wonderful children and grandson.  I seek search, ask, beg, plead, and to no avail. 

It's just a fantasy to think I can really lead a productive and happy life.  On the road to self destruction with the cigaretts, stress, lack of normalcy, lack of a lot of things I consider essentials, personal and private matters beyond the depression that the doctors tell me they have no answers for. The obsessive thinking, the total lack of anything except for mere existince.   

Is this life?  Is this hell?  Am I being punished?  What more is there?   

No one seems to have any answers.  There are answers, but our country and society doesn't have tiem for me.  This walk I call life is hard,  the walk takes me nowhere, it;s torture, pain and all routes are dead ends. 

ANother dead end ahead.......peace will come soon enough.  It;s what I feel.  I can;t help what I feel.  The hopes turn to fears, the dreams to nightmares,the light to darkness, the comfort to lonliness, so deep and empty, life turns to choices, the choices are driven by my mind, I have no control.   

So what's next?  Nothing!