Quote From: sweets537well where to begin...my son has been gone for 25 days with his dad, my new marriage is falling apart because i have picked out every flaw about my husband that i could find. i wont let him help me, i dont even want to get out of bed in the morning. all that i can do is think about how "great" it was when I was single. then i stop and tell myself, what in the hell is wrong with you, you were miserable when you were single. I miss my son to a point where i could just go to sleep and never wake up. No one around me can begin to understand the way I feel and they all say, o it will pass, he will be home in 6 days. But its not that, i know he will be home, my depression and anxiety wont let me get over it.
I really do get what you are saying. I am often that way myself. I once was talking to a counselor and she said to me that I was worrying about things that were just my imagination. I couldn't believe she said that so quickly with no idea what she was talking about. I said that was a lot of assumption in 15 minutes or less. I get so down, especially when I am down and life for me has become one big race to avoid facing some of my own emotions.
I had some monetary losses and lost close friends and family members all around the same time. It hit me so hard that I said those very words, I want to go to sleep and never wake up. But really after the fact I am so smart, what I wanted was rest from the worry, rest from the grief and rest from the emotional stuff. Unfortunately the only way to understand how something will pass is after you have almost gone all through it. I have had some tough times spiraling but I can tell you that when you do begin to understand better why, you are feeling the way you do, it makes it easier to understand How you can make yourself start to feel stronger.
Do you feel more burdened being on your own? Or do you think maybe you are feeling more lonely?
Depression and anxiety does make normal living very difficult but it can be controllable if only for short times but at least that is something.
I have a lot of faith myself but I also know that I can't just hand it over to God as so many people are fond of saying. I love God but depression like this is very complicated, and I know that it will be tough but also feel like you probably have more strength than you realize.
Hugs Mar.
