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June 22, 2006, 6:43 pm PDT
Hi Laurie
Quote From: lauriejI would still like to know what you think about setting boundaries and what works for you. It is great to have a general idea about boundaries but something a little more would be helpful. This is something that I know I really need to do and something that I want to start right away. Alot of problems with everyone is that I let them cross the boundaries, even with the kids and picking up their things because it is easier to just let it go than to fight with them all the time.
Laurie The posts I saw of your's asking about boundaries are still up and where you asked where I found information. You can search for boundaries and related subjects in white search box in UPPER right. Sounds like you just answered here though that you draw boundaries yet don't consistently enforce. A college student was telling me, "You know how everyone doesn't do things trying to hold out until someone else does...like chores." I said, "No, I have always thought if someone didn't do chores it was not deliberately and had a really good reason (not enough time etc.)." However, you make time and so your kids can make time. A professor I was assistant to said it is called, "Planned Incompentency." Not doing or not doing well so someone else will do for them such as your picking up after your kids. Who doesn't want a maid? A show I saw, an expert said it is good to get family chore list and game plan in writing so everyone knows what is expected of them and put where every can see what is expected of them everyday. That most people do want to help and are more apt to remember if written down and in a visible place. Oh well, if same posts I saw of your's about boundaries...still up. Not being consistent causes resentment and chaos the expert said. Person who goes on and does it resents it and when gets fed up and demands help those who enjoyed not helping resent losing their maid (freedom etc.) and it becomes a see saw of emotions. What do you think? Hugs and prayers, SEA
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