Replies to '03/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3'

"You seem to operate under the assumption that only a dual income marriage is a true partnership. Do you and your husband divvy up whose money is whose and who pays for what? My husband and I have different roles in our family and his happens to generate the income. It doesn't mean we don't make family decisions jointly and that it's HIS money. Neither of us could have our life without the other. "  

First off, I know deep down you have respect for the dual income family as noted in a lot of your posts.  I assume that this was just a bad day.  Since you have never worked outside the home  

(and I'm not saying that mean, just stating a fact) you can't really comment on the differences between my marriage and yours.  No, I do not think the only true partnership is a dual income family, however, it doeslevel the playing field.  Let me explain....all the Wifestyles shows have single income families and all of them are unhappy.   Next, because I work outside the home and help with bills, my hubby helps more with housework, kids and whatever else needs to be done.  He would probably still do all of that if I didn't work (he's a great guy like that) BUT I would not want that for him.  IF we had the money for me to stay home, I am the kind of person I would take care of it...clean house, stimulated kids, involved at school. etc.  In fact, I do a lot of that now and I bring home a check.There would be very few PJ days and not showering.  I understand if you have infants or multiple kids with few years in between but again, you and hubby chose that.  My hubby has said if I stayed home that he would definitely want a picked up house, dinner on the table and all that.  The extremes of micromanangement shown on the TV are just ridiculous- I th ink we all know that.  However, I will say (again) that some women don't feel the drive to do much beyond the basics when they are home.  I do not or have EVER thought staying home was easy but I think a lot of women take advantage and get burned out.  For instance, if one has never worked or stuggled how can they appreciate what they have?  That's my point.    

  Also, in my house, ALL the $$ goes into ONE account and we pay what we need to from there and spend the rest.  My husband has not signed a check in years and he's OK with that.  Truth be told, I handle most of the bill paying.  As long as things are not shut off and they dont' call he's happy.  From what I understand, you have a charmed life and that's great.  However, a lot of women who stay home and are virtually obvlivious to the money part are really not in a good position if something happened.  Be it divorce, death or disability most women who don't get involved in the money aspect of marriage are at a huge disadvantage.  I'm NOT saying all women SHOULD work...just get involved and make sure that somehow your skills are kept up.  Someone who has been out the workforce (even if only a few years) is not near as  likely to be hired on at a decent salary.  That is just fact.  Some manage to go back out and do well but that is not the norm.  Just a thought.  Sorry for the novel but I have limited post time so I have to make it count!  

Kira  

schmittz4@sbcglobal.net (email anytime, you seem nice)  

"You seem to operate under the assumption that only a dual income marriage is a true partnership. Do you and your husband divvy up whose money is whose and who pays for what? My husband and I have different roles in our family and his happens to generate the income. It doesn't mean we don't make family decisions jointly and that it's HIS money. Neither of us could have our life without the other. "  

First off, I know deep down you have respect for the dual income family as noted in a lot of your posts.  I assume that this was just a bad day.  Since you have never worked outside the home  

(and I'm not saying that mean, just stating a fact) you can't really comment on the differences between my marriage and yours.  No, I do not think the only true partnership is a dual income family, however, it doeslevel the playing field.  Let me explain....all the Wifestyles shows have single income families and all of them are unhappy.   Next, because I work outside the home and help with bills, my hubby helps more with housework, kids and whatever else needs to be done.  He would probably still do all of that if I didn't work (he's a great guy like that) BUT I would not want that for him.  IF we had the money for me to stay home, I am the kind of person I would take care of it...clean house, stimulated kids, involved at school. etc.  In fact, I do a lot of that now and I bring home a check.There would be very few PJ days and not showering.  I understand if you have infants or multiple kids with few years in between but again, you and hubby chose that.  My hubby has said if I stayed home that he would definitely want a picked up house, dinner on the table and all that.  The extremes of micromanangement shown on the TV are just ridiculous- I th ink we all know that.  However, I will say (again) that some women don't feel the drive to do much beyond the basics when they are home.  I do not or have EVER thought staying home was easy but I think a lot of women take advantage and get burned out.  For instance, if one has never worked or stuggled how can they appreciate what they have?  That's my point.    

  Also, in my house, ALL the $$ goes into ONE account and we pay what we need to from there and spend the rest.  My husband has not signed a check in years and he's OK with that.  Truth be told, I handle most of the bill paying.  As long as things are not shut off and they dont' call he's happy.  From what I understand, you have a charmed life and that's great.  However, a lot of women who stay home and are virtually obvlivious to the money part are really not in a good position if something happened.  Be it divorce, death or disability most women who don't get involved in the money aspect of marriage are at a huge disadvantage.  I'm NOT saying all women SHOULD work...just get involved and make sure that somehow your skills are kept up.  Someone who has been out the workforce (even if only a few years) is not near as  likely to be hired on at a decent salary.  That is just fact.  Some manage to go back out and do well but that is not the norm.  Just a thought.  Sorry for the novel but I have limited post time so I have to make it count!  

Kira  

schmittz4@sbcglobal.net (email anytime, you seem nice)