Replies to '06/21 "Throw It Out!"'

Avoidance, Perfectionism, Decision-Making, Responsibility...these are the 4 characteristics they say Hoarders share.  Sounds unbelievable, doesn't it?  As a child, having to crawl over a mountain full of clothing and who knows what else, to get out the door...to walk through the dining room, do you think I would have believed this???  No way! 

My mom is a hoarder.  So were my grandparents.  So is my aunt.  So is my brother.  "Extreme" when used with a hoarder just means they have more space to fill up.  Hoarding is in the "mind", it's about the relationship with things.  You can be an "Extreme Hoarder" living in ONE room.  It all depends if you can part with that used up toilet paper, etc. roll or not, what your relationship with that object is.   

Now they are calling it a possible spectrum disorder of OCD.  Lots of research left to be done.  Until I learned about why hoarders hoard, I was a ball of anger towards my mother for allowing us to live like that.  To live like she does today, in an apartment across the street from her hoarded up house.  She won't LET her 6 kids help her.  This is because the anxiety over us touching her things is so great.  She feels responsible for the things being used properly, to go to the correct person, she needs to SEE everything in order to know it's there.  She is mentally ill.  I know this now, didn't know it as a child getting yelled at for throwing something away.  Dr. Phil should consider doing a show about children who grow up in that environment.   

There is a group for children of hoarders...there are groups for hoarders...spouses of hoarders...friends of hoarders....there is support so others can know they aren't alone and can learn about the disorder of Hoarding.  I started a site www.childrenofhoarders.com, and there are lots of links to direct you where to learn about hoarding or where to find support.  There is also the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation...they have a Hoarding Section of their website.   

:) donna