Replies to 'Addiction Support'

Hi 

This is my first time here, and am amazed at how many people there are like me.  

My story - My husband - a cocaine addict. Able to snort 3g in an evening or morning - it didn't matter. The father of my two children. The man who partied with alcohol and cocaine the night I was in hospital with a threatened miscarriage of our first child. The man who endlessly promised to give it up. Pretended to give it up, failed, lied, disappeared on numerous occassions. He nearly lost us all.  I shouted, cried, moved out - nothing works, because it's nothing to do with us. The relationship with the power is the user and the drug. This man is still my husband - and has been clean for 8 months - thanks to Narcotics Anonymous. Everyone in the NA group has been there, done that. Most of them worse. But these people never judge. They accept you and help you. If there is any advise I can offer, it would be to try and get your partner to one of these meetings. If he truly wants to give up rather than lying to sooth his conscience and to calm your relationship, but is a slave to a drug - get him to a meeting.  

I still live with a shadow over me. Some part of me died during the years of addiction I lived through. I love my husband, but it's not the innocent love that it used to be. I still sniff his wallet for traces of cocaine. I still have nightmares that he is using again, and ignores me. But this life is 100x better than the life I had before. 

We are now a normal family of four. My husband works, I work and look after our children. We go out, and have fun.  

Try to get your life back. 

  I was with my daughters dad for six years ( we were never married) he was a good guy with no history of drug use. Then slowly he started snorting cocaine and then started to free-base. In order to support his habit he started dealing, so then I had to deal with this "new" person with a bad habit and a illegal job position. It was absolutely devastating for me to watch this person I loved and shared a beautiful baby with and six years, spiral downward with a fury. It was an emotional rollercoaster and so out of control, I finally gathered the courage to leave him and HIS habit, it was not mine, and anything I could have done or not done could have prevented this from starting.  I wish I could say things got better and we are living a life of happiness with our child, but I cannot. 

  I can only say his actions can make or break you to some extent, all in what is allowable to you. Don't let his drug use define your life path. Simply make your own. Because he will no matter what, continue his with or without you, good or bad. 

If you have yahoo you can IM me on there at: SandraAnnW73 

On AOL or AIM: SandraAnnW1973 

My boyfriend is a crack addict too and I too feel so lonely with no one to talk to who can understand. 

Get back to me ok? 

I have the same problem my boyfriend of 3 yrs has a problem with crack and crank. At first he was really bad off I mean stealing not working all he wanted was to get high . Didn't matter have much he hurt anyone all he was about was the dope , but now he kinda chilled out hes working a full time job. Although he still goes back down the dope road. I personally don't understand this addition. I mean sometime it still like it would be simply to say OK no more living like this. It has made me crazy all I do is worry what hes doing and where hes at ,when he comes home from work I'm looking at him to see if there are any sign of using ( IS HE HIGH )  I Give him drug test an yes hes failed some an when he does the test are wrong I mean what is he thinking . I try my best to be there for him , but  for the past three years this as consumed my life .  

Hello,  

  I met my current boyfriend 4 years ago while visiting a friend of mine in court appointed Drug Rehab.  Yes, I know, he was in Drug Rehab, I should have known better, but my first thought was of the quote in the bible: when I was in prison, you came to visit me  Matthew 25:34-40.  I just thought, if it were me, I would want a friend to visit me.  So that is how it all started.  I thought I was meeting someone who was trying to change their life, make it all better.  I was so wrong.  4 days after he got out of Rehab, he disappeared for 3 months.  I thought something terrible had happened to him, so I spent every night searching the streets for him.  I finally found him, I should have stopped when he disappeared.  

  I have spent the past 3 1/2 years listening to the lies, the deception, the mood swings, the yelling, the name calling, the cheating, the not coming home, the not picking up the phone for days, the nights of crying myself to sleep, and just asking myself Why?  Why do I put up with this?  Why of all people did I have to fall in love with him?  Why can't he just stop, and look at what he is doing to me and to himself?  His is slowly killing himself, and all I can do is sit there and watch him.  If I ask him not to do it around me, he will just sneak around and do it.  And with the drugs comes drinking and with those two things, comes the cheating.  Again, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't even act like he loves me enough to be faithful to me?    

  Oh, I forgot to mention, I am trying to do all of this with him, while putting myself through Medical School.  He has no job, so all the bills are mine to pay, do any of you know what medical school costs these days?  Thanks to his wonderful habit, he is about to be put in jail for the next 6 months and then 3 yrs probation.  Again, the bible verse comes to me as I write this with the tears streaming down my face: When I was in prison, you came to visit me.  What do I do now?  Do I follow my heart and stand by him, waiting to give him a future that most drug addicts only dream of, living the life of a Doctor?  Or do I follow my head, and use this time apart to get out?  

  Sometimes, I just wish I understood what kind of hold that drug has...why nothing else ever seems to matter, not even when I sit there in front of him crying...begging.  It has not only turned him into someone else, it has also taken me to a very dark place in my life.  A place I don't like being.  I don't like to feel like this.  I want to feel loved, by someone who doesn't put me second to an illegal substance.  

  Any time you want to chat...anytime anyone wants to chat, I'm willing to listen.  If your willing to listen to me in return.  email me: christina.mullins@rfums.org