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Replies to 'Balancing Work and Family'
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July 4, 2006, 10:30 am PDT
 Quote From: momescapes My husband works for a family owned company. His brother started the company. After his divorce and eventually his death he sold it to his nephew. It is a construction company that does fiber optic cable for telephone company’s. It involves long hours and sometimes emergency calls. His brother and I didn’t get along. He wanted control over everyone. I have never been one that accepts control. Although he was a good business person, he was filthy mouthed and trashy, and true to only his self. The type of person that used money to buy his way. He would even try and buy my husband hookers to split us up. Hope you get the idea. Now that his nephew has the company it think he is trying to take up where his uncle left off. He cannot make it home till at least 7:30 pm. ( He goes to work at 7:30am) There are time it is not a job, but his boss running him around talking till all hours of the evening. Here lately he has not been coming home till 9:30pm. At first he said it was a hot job. I do understand hot jobs. Then I find out 2 days out of 5 that was not the truth. He had him doing odd and end things. One day of it his boss just needed someone to talk to. We plan our vacation around our anniversary. In 2005 and 2006 he has been called in on our anniversary. New Years eve 2005 & 2006. Mothers day 2006. He is paid salary so there’s no money issue here. I’m alone 90% of the time. We have been married 5 yrs and had a relationship for 11 years. Both of us are in our fifties. So we are not kids and have our whole life ahead of us. I tired of being by myself. Talking does no good. My husband has little formal education. He has been a good provider. He has a heart of gold. His nephew plays on all of that and the fact he wants to be needed. Anyone have any suggestions. I can relate to some of the things you are talking about. my husband is a self employed farmer. He works long hours but in his case he is the boss and no one gives him odd jobs or anything. I have to wonder why your husband wants to spend so much time away from home. does he want to take over for the boss?? does he feel an obligation?? Only he knows.. I would ask him more about it.. try to probe but not be accusatory. I understand you being tired of being by yourself. I tried to just do things on my own. I have two kids 8 and 10 and I am always going places with them.. it is always the three of us.. to the show and playing in the pool. rarely daddy shows himself. In my husband's case he just feels that nothing can get done properly unless he does it. He has his brother works with him. He is paid salary like your husband is. My brother in law is different than your husband though as he does not hand around any extra time. He takes advantage of his brother really. will not show up for most weekends now unless he specifically knows that my husband is going to be away or something.. You say your husband has a heart of gold. That sounds like my husband too. but you have to wonder if they are doing things for other people.. My husband takes me for granted because he knows i will always be here. it is easy to take for granted someone you are close to.. perhaps this si what your husband is doing without meaning too. perhaps look at it that way.. Tell him what you need. Tell him how his being away is affecting your life. perhaps he doesn't realize how much you miss him .. Maybe he thinks you can do fine without him?? Good luck |
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