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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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July 8, 2006, 12:21 pm PDT
 Quote From: singlmommy I am a single mom. I have raised my son solo since he was newborn. I left my fiance (his father) after he went to jail when my baby was born. This scared me so much that I restarted my life. I moved back to the state I was raised in. I moved close to my family. I started a new job and I'm going to school. I want the best for my son and I do everything in my ability to give it to him. I work in childcare and I bring him with me so he has never been away from me for more than an occasional few hours at a time. He is just 2 years old now. His father is released and has been visiting him over the last year. He claims that he's cleaned up his life. I really don't care what he does with his life except for the for that he is my son's father. I know that he loves him very much. We do differ on parenting styles but that's manageable. I'm worried that he may still be doing illegal activity. How do I know if when he takes the baby something may happen? He says that he's not but I don't know. He wants the baby to come stay at his home out of state for a few days at a time here and there. This is a constant argument between us. He pays me child support each month which I need to get by for now. We have no court child visitation or support rulings. He has little in his name and Im sure that the court would order him to pay less than what he is now. Also it would make him very angry at me if I went to court and shared this. I worry that he may stop child support or take my son away from me. What can I do? I do want my son to have a father but I cant worry about my child's welfare in his fathers care. My son is my life and I want him to have the best possible. Any advice please for a worried loving mother? I congratulate you for knowing when to get out of a relationship that is going nowhere. I know it must have been difficult for you. You are doing the right thing, and the best thing possible, by doing the best you can for your son. Of course you are worried about his safety and well being, and you have reasons to be- his father was involved in drugs and was in jail. A leopard doesn't change its spots this quickly!! They just don't, plain and simple. My advice to you is to let your son's father know that right now, your son is too young to be that far away. Take some time to consider when you would allow your son to go with his father- my advice to you would be when your son is old enough to talk, let his needs be known. Until then, your son can't tell you what he did or where he went with his father- and you will have to count on his version of events when he is with his father. If this doesn't satisfy his father, then thats too bad. Why would you be concerned that his father would take your son away from you if you went through the court system for child support? There is NO WAY a court would order that a father with a criminal history be awarded custody over you. Because his father is the type of person who makes you feel threatened, your instincts are right on to be very concerned for your son. Unless you go through the court system to get regular child support, that would be taken right out of his paycheck and sent to you, then you will have to tolerate your concerns over not knowing when or if he will pay the child support. (In MA a father pays 33% of his weekly pay to child support) I wish you well, you are doing the right thing by keeping your son close to you for now! |
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