Replies to 'Overcoming Grief'
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August 2, 2006, 7:24 am PDT
 Quote From: baseball I hope I can help but I don't know if I can. Your life kinda sounds like mine right now. It seems like life just keeps falling apart more and more and we are the ones that keep trying to find the new normal. We really want to act like we are not falling apart to the rest of the world but inside we are dealing with our own monsters and feel like no one cares. I do care cause I understand. Lately I have been dealing with my daughters children who have nightmares about their mom. My grandaughter Lizzy who is now six is remembering seeing her mom hanging in the shower. She says that she remembers her mom couldn't breath and told her that she loved her right before she died. My grandaughter says that she seen her mom die. I had to bring out pictures of Cindy and try to help her thru it. She seemed better after that. That night she said she dreamed of riding on a unicorn. My sons are all dealing with it in their own ways too and they are not good. My 23 yr old is doing meth everyday and has a warrent out for his arrest he is looking at 2 yrs in prison. My 18 yr old is excelling in sports but is also sad and stressed. My 16 yr old is always angry and in turmoil inside. My husband has turned into a workaholic and is so tired all the time. With all that is going on makes me miss my daughter so much more but seem like there is never time to fall apart. It is so sad to watch what is happening to our family and know there is really nothing we can do about anything.I also feel like I lost all my friends because they didn't know how to deal with me. Missing the ones we loved so very much is overwhelming and really consumes our lives to a point that we don't even know what to do with ourselves at times. I am finding it hard to go on now too but we have to. I have also thought about suicide lately cause I am tired of the daily pain. I know that isn't and option cause my family would really fall apart and I don't think that they would ever make it. I have no words of wisdom for you. I really wish I did. I am here for you to talk with. We never get over the loses and time is all we have right now. You are in my prayers. I will check back to see how you are doing. Sometimes it takes me awhile cause of everything that is going on. I DO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL !!!!! God bless and take care until next time, Linda those words helped more than what u think.You saved the day.And im not kidding. |
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June 22, 2007, 8:53 am PDT
Quote From: baseball I hope I can help but I don't know if I can. Your life kinda sounds like mine right now. It seems like life just keeps falling apart more and more and we are the ones that keep trying to find the new normal. We really want to act like we are not falling apart to the rest of the world but inside we are dealing with our own monsters and feel like no one cares. I do care cause I understand. Lately I have been dealing with my daughters children who have nightmares about their mom. My grandaughter Lizzy who is now six is remembering seeing her mom hanging in the shower. She says that she remembers her mom couldn't breath and told her that she loved her right before she died. My grandaughter says that she seen her mom die. I had to bring out pictures of Cindy and try to help her thru it. She seemed better after that. That night she said she dreamed of riding on a unicorn. My sons are all dealing with it in their own ways too and they are not good. My 23 yr old is doing meth everyday and has a warrent out for his arrest he is looking at 2 yrs in prison. My 18 yr old is excelling in sports but is also sad and stressed. My 16 yr old is always angry and in turmoil inside. My husband has turned into a workaholic and is so tired all the time. With all that is going on makes me miss my daughter so much more but seem like there is never time to fall apart. It is so sad to watch what is happening to our family and know there is really nothing we can do about anything.I also feel like I lost all my friends because they didn't know how to deal with me. Missing the ones we loved so very much is overwhelming and really consumes our lives to a point that we don't even know what to do with ourselves at times. I am finding it hard to go on now too but we have to. I have also thought about suicide lately cause I am tired of the daily pain. I know that isn't and option cause my family would really fall apart and I don't think that they would ever make it. I have no words of wisdom for you. I really wish I did. I am here for you to talk with. We never get over the loses and time is all we have right now. You are in my prayers. I will check back to see how you are doing. Sometimes it takes me awhile cause of everything that is going on. I DO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL !!!!! God bless and take care until next time, Linda Probably dont remember me,but our connection was the date of deaths of our loved ones.I hope your doing well.I read your paragraph about when you drank the whiskey and listened to the funeral music of your daughter and let loose on your husband.And guess what...Im glad.You need to let loose!Don't feel bad.Nobody was harmed(and granted you probably felt crappy the next day.)But you can only take so much.I have the singer Amy Lee as my profile picture because thats what I was listening to before my brothers funeral.And I probably would have taken the whiskey if offered.But it wasnt,because I had to hold it together for his viewing,somewhat.I hope your taking care of yourself.I know I ve had suicidal thoughts at times too.But my 15 year old keeps me going.And the busy working hubby.I do notice my parents are getting...more frustrated and drinking more.(My mom even hides it).Im not close with them anymore.I try but it seems that their always bitter about something now,I kind of understand since they lost their son,but Im their daughter and I wish they werent mad or drunk.The worst thing is they've distanced themselves from my daughter(Abby,).And have pretty much put their life around my brother's son(whos 2 going on 3).I understand but Josh's son has a stepfather and his mother and my parents and me. And my 15 year old feels left out I think(but she wont admit to it)And she was as close to Josh(my bro) as anyone else.For example they never do anything with my daughter,and have Dusty 2 days a week.My daughter babysits Dusty on Saturdays and I help babysit too,he''s a doll dont get me wrong.Im not trying to sound selfish but I look up to you for noticing everyone else in your family also.It even feels like my parents dont like me anymore,or my family.For example my dad left a message last night on my phone that said"Dusty has a virus,its not like you'll get back with me or get this but I thought you should know."I was just out there the other day (for father's day)and all he talked about is all the new stuff he had done to their house.Not"how's Abby?or how's Jason?(my husband),or Dana how are you.Is this selfish?I dont want to be,but Im getting bitter myself.HElp,I need your words of wisdom. |
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