Dear Tracy,
Your mother does not know any better, She needs to be educated about eating disorders and How to help a loved one who has one. Therapy for Both of you would be Ideal. If you do not think she would be willing. Tell her you need help in dealing with your eating disorder. Then while talking to your therapist I am sure if you let them know what you have said in this message they would try to get your mother the help that she needs Parents think they are helping when they are actually making the situation worse. You say you are anorexic, but I think you may have a combination of eating disorders. If you can not go to therapy, Maybe there is an Overeater's anonymous group near you. The twelve step program, a sponsor and meetings would do anyone with an eating disorder good. I speak from experience.
I have been through drug addiction and an eating disorder with my daughter. I was never one of those mother to criticize her about her weight. (Even though my mother would) I would tell her the truth, that her body was going through puberty and she would not always be this way, as her body matured and she grew taller she would naturally slim down. Along with a healthy diet and exercise.
She has always been very active and at the time was on a precision jump rope team. She even competed on a national level. Once she got to High School she chose Cheer-leading as her sport. She was 5'6" tall and Voluptuous not overweight to my standards, but kids at school (Her stick figure "Friends" and some rude boys) would tease her. They would actually make cow sounds when she would walk past and nobody did a thing about it. I can not believe a teacher did not hear this even once. BUT......that is a whole other battle...
But once she decided she wanted to get help for her drug addiction. She was 18 The inpatient program she went into realized that she also needed help with her eating disorder. So as part of her Intensive Out -atient treatment plan she was to complete the eating disorders program at a very good hospital in our town that specializes in eating disorders. As well as IOP treatment for drug addiction along with going to NA meetings, getting a sponsor and working the twelve step program. She has been clean and sober and eating healthy for almost three years now. She is expecting her first child in January. She realizes she will always have thoughts of using drugs or acting out on her eating disorder, but she has learned through these programs she has done that she has the choice not to act out, not to use drugs. She has been given the tools to save herself. I was most grateful for the parent education that the inpatient program offered. I learned so much, I also learn what I was doing wrong during the years I knew she was using drugs ( I thought she was smoking pot) I was so naive. So sometimes parents can be wrong and need to learn how to do better.
I wish you the best. You can save yourself too.
Navymom
