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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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September 1, 2005, 4:51 pm PDT
 Quote From: trinket
Your so right ! You said: however, the Mentally Ill, when stable, have the same capacity to be vicious and mean as ANYONE else!
We, left my husband's sister behind, we REFUSE to tolerate her bullying under this idea that because she's Bi-polar, she can do anything she wants without repercussion! Her Mother, much to her suprise, has not been able to manipulate our family as she has her other grown adult offspring, and the anger aimed at us as "Evil" has been suprising, but not as much as their continued attempts to drag us back into their drama-land. No Joke, we have tolerated their phone harrassment of hang up calls, and using our oldest son to spy on our family for over a year now. They only torment themselves, and He's 23, it's his choice to know them. Medicated only means a more managed form of abuse by her, and as time passes, she's only going to get better at it.
Brenda, you wrote: "It takes ENORMOUS courage to know when to leave a relationship! Including when it involves someone who is Mentally Ill! and that includes whacked out family members who are your sibling and aunt to your kids. My children lost alot, and have gained in the fact they don't have to tolerate her mood swings and potential for harm with her suicide threats and selective memory games.
Bravo.. Well Said !
Annie I was given that label back in the late 80's. I guess I even still have it ... But I had a major turning point when I went to participate in a study being done up here. I was in a full blown manic and at the end of all the tests - the doctor looked at me and said: YOU WILL KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO ADMIT YOURSELF. It was like a major milestone in my life. Because I have always believed GOD doesn't give you anything you can not handle. So I began to learn about my illness. To understand why, when, how it occurred. I spent years learning about my manic behavior. I got to the point that I could use my "visual" to help me slow down my thoughts. I discovered that I went manic becaulse I didn't know how to handle situations, talk to people, etc. So I went on a DAMAGE CONTROL mission. Eventually, even my doctor wasn't able to help me with my illness - he turned me over to biofeedback and guess what! I went lower than the machine could register. It's been years since I've experienced a manic episode.
Doing Self Matters helped me to understand where & why my thoughts were screwed up. And with me naming PIG PEN - I am now able to finally tackle the depression. It was caused my the high heat in July/August and as a non-sweater - I was just a vegetable. Now, with Central Air for the last few years I've been able to not return to it -- but it was a habit -- I was used to being a certain way. Now, I understand the habit more and I'm finally bringing closure to it.
I guess I'll always be labeled MENTALLY ILL - but I don't mind. I'm at peace right now and I've learned that there are people who will accept me for my strangeness (and yes, I do have some strange behaviors). But they love me, respect me, and care for me.
I know that I looked at my illness as different - I'm glad I did. I know of others who wallow in their LABEL and live in a DRAMA LIFE STYLE - like a soap opera on TV. You never know who is on 1st, 2nd or 3rd. I don't think they are really happy - they are just living their life they way they know how.
I'm thankful everyday that I was able to see that I was heading that way and decided not to turn to that direction. I didn't like those I was hanging with and they all were diagnosed as Mentally Ill like me! |
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September 3, 2005, 10:14 am PDT
Quote From: trinket
Your so right ! You said: however, the Mentally Ill, when stable, have the same capacity to be vicious and mean as ANYONE else!
We, left my husband's sister behind, we REFUSE to tolerate her bullying under this idea that because she's Bi-polar, she can do anything she wants without repercussion! Her Mother, much to her suprise, has not been able to manipulate our family as she has her other grown adult offspring, and the anger aimed at us as "Evil" has been suprising, but not as much as their continued attempts to drag us back into their drama-land. No Joke, we have tolerated their phone harrassment of hang up calls, and using our oldest son to spy on our family for over a year now. They only torment themselves, and He's 23, it's his choice to know them. Medicated only means a more managed form of abuse by her, and as time passes, she's only going to get better at it.
Brenda, you wrote: "It takes ENORMOUS courage to know when to leave a relationship! Including when it involves someone who is Mentally Ill! and that includes whacked out family members who are your sibling and aunt to your kids. My children lost alot, and have gained in the fact they don't have to tolerate her mood swings and potential for harm with her suicide threats and selective memory games.
Bravo.. Well Said !
Annie I’ve found that in dealing with chronic problems involving the Mentally Ill many people do, in fact have to make very difficult choices, for themselves as well as, their families. Again, there are often very negative reactions to those choices. One thing hasn’t been fully addressed except in passing in your post. While your son is a young adult and still growing emotionally, there are often very young children out there stuck with the experience of being with a person who is emotionally unstable. In some instances the children are left with the responsibility of caring for person who is Mentally Ill. This is NOT acceptable! I am saying that not only as a healthcare provider but as someone who LIVED that experience. Children are struggling to learn and grow. (I’m sounding like Dr. Phil, here, I know.) Leaving children to deal with complex adult situations, like a psychotic person, to manage BEFORE they are able to care for themselves is UNACCEPTABLE. It does more than create a negative experience and change who they are, they actually are often forced to abandon learning and growing and just work on SOME means of surviving each and every day. Often they wind up in an adult world, chronologically an adult, but without the skills others have learned while being children. I’m not merely referring to those important missed emotional growth milestones. For me it was stupid stuff like, when it’s going to be raining all day, bring an umbrella! And, in winter it gets cold so you have to buy and remember to wear an overcoat, when it’s 30 degrees outside! And, you need to eat three meals a day not just when you get hungry or when food is available. I’m talking about learning to addressing the most basic human needs. When you’re struggle just to survive EVERYTHING else becomes secondary!
I’ve done enough pontificating, now. My point is that children need to be spared the responsibility of grappling to deal with things that don’t involve the business of being a child!!! I do wish you only the best in making those difficult choices and know that it is healthy to say, ‘No!’ when others are pushing you to do anything that is not in the best interest of yourself and/or your family.
Brenda |
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