Quote From: cagatewood1My husband and I have been married for 17 years. About 10 years ago we tried the "swinging" and I got involved with someone that almost ruined my marriage. Luckily we moved away and things got back to normal. When we, being military for 12 years, finally moved home for good, we decided to try it again, but our marriage was not stable due to an affair that my husband had had. First mistake I know. We did it for awhile and I began to hate myself for it and got nothing out of it. Now my husband wants to go to a club for swingers only and I don't want to. He says if I loved him I would just try it once. He also has "fantasies" he wants to have fulfilled. I don't want to do it anymore but since I won't do the things he wants he wants to leave. I love him with all my heart but I don't want to hate myself for doing something just to make him happy. Am I wrong for this? I need to talk to someone about this since I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends since they don't know anything about this other lifestyle.
Girl, keep your self respect and lose this guy. Nothing is worth losing your self respect!!
Its not like you didn't give it a try...you did... and it caused all kinds of problems for the two of you... It sounds like your husband thrives on chaos or something?! Why in the world would he want to do something like that, something that he knows has caused problems in the past? I urge you to stand your ground. If he is willing to leave your marriage because he wants to swing, this guy isn't worth keeping anyway. I know this must hurt, this is your life, all that you have known for many years...but why should you have to do something that makes you hate yourself? You don't have to. For him to give you an ultimatum like that, its just low. Thats emotional abuse. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. Many men have fantasies.... but thats all that they are, just fantasies. He is willing to throw away your whole marriage to fill some fantasy? And I'm willing to bet that if/when he does ever fill these fantasies, he's going to be so dissapointed that its not as exciting as he thought it would be...and by then, he will have given up everything. Atleast you will still have your self respect. Don't give in, love yourself!!
